


After Allegiant

by livyroro



Category: Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-16
Updated: 2014-04-04
Packaged: 2018-01-15 23:07:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 39,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1322659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livyroro/pseuds/livyroro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"My heart thumps out of my chest. I catch a glimpse of bright blond hair, too low down for me to see who it really is. Think straight, man. Get yourself under control. She's dead. Dead. I pull open the door, and my mouth goes slack. 'Tris,' I exhale, 'It's you.'" Post-Allegiant, not an alternate ending. Believable explanation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first fic on this site; I wrote this first on fanfiction.net and I'm putting it here.

Chapter 1: Picks up 2 weeks After Epilogue, From Tobias' s point of view.

The door shuts quietly, but it sounds like the loudest sound in the world. I sigh to myself, and sink down into the couch. This was the time when tears used to come, but now all I feel is empty. I had just gotten used to Evelyn living with me, but yesterday she officially moved out; she chose a building in Millenium Plaza of all places.

I won't be alone for long, Zeke convinced me to go out on another one of those terrible "dates" again. I would've said no, but Uriah…it's been really hard on Zeke, not to mention his mother. I rack my head for ways to get out of it. I can't possibly do it, it would be like betraying…her.

Tris, I think. She wouldn't be ok with this…I'm not ok with this in the first place.

Just tell him that, then, don't go about trying to make it seem like you're alright!

But…she said…. I choke down the terrible noise that's clawing to get out, tears run down my cheek one after another. She said she didn't want to leave me.

"STOP!" I shout, to no one in particular. I can't believe it. Arguing with myself? Is this all I have come to, a pathetic, lonely wreck with only myself to confide in? Coward.

I am a coward. A coward. If only I wasn't so scared, I could have been there, what was I thinking, leaving? Leaving only her and Caleb, wasn't it obvious who it would end up being?

I sit there, fighting with myself for a long, long time. Eventually anger gives way to sadness, shaking hands give in to tears, and my frustrated shouts turn into moans. I lay on the couch, shivering and shaking, tears coating my face, which is contorted into a terrible expression of grief.

I regain awareness of the real world around me when I hear a sharp knock on the door. "Four?" It sounds like Zeke. "FOUR!" The knocking gets harder, my door looks like it just might burst. Knowing Zeke, it just might.

Shit. In the middle of my childish breakdown, I forgot all about this date Zeke is sending me on. "One second!" My voice cracks. I hurry to make myself look somewhat acceptable, whether I end up going or not.

Rushing into the bathroom, I still feel the pang of guilt when I look into the mirror. I guess even though the factions aren't anymore in Chicago, they'll never be, but they will always be in all of us.

My eyes are so puffy I can't even see the real skin around them, it's all red and irritated. Tears are still visible all over my cheeks and my lips are cracked and dry. Maybe I can scare her away, I think. Better not test my luck. I quickly wash my face, getting water all over my shirt. I run into my bedroom, and quickly put a fresh one on. I feel stubble on my chin, but there's no time now to do anything about that.

I rush to the door, pulling it open as quickly as possible. It reveals an impatient looking Zeke, happy Shauna in a wheelchair, and a girl about my age, with blond hair and gray eyes. I almost have another breakdown right in front of everyone, but I manage to cover it up with a little cough. I try to look at Zeke, tell him this isn't going to work, when he interrupts me.

"Hey, Four!" I shoot him a glare. "Hey, uh, so this is Belle, and you know Shauna." Zeke finishes, looking at me expectantly.

"Hi," my throat clenches. She looks too similar, too much like her. "Belle, hi. Look, I was really looking forward to this, but-"

"You don't have to say anything, I get it. You're not really my…type, either." She sounds quiet but strong, just like her.

"I'm sorry," I say quietly. Her comment would've stung if I wasn't already in a lot of pain.

Zeke gives me a sympathetic look, "I thought we could try. Well then, maybe next time." He winks at me, and pushes Shauna down the hallway, Belle following close behind.

I shut my door quickly, and lean up against it, breathing heavily. The thought of her overwhelms me, how beautiful and strong she is, was, what her mind was capable of. I remember the way she looked that night she came to me in the Amity compound. She was unsure, but she was beautiful. My mind wanders to the last time we were together like that, but I stop it. I won't go there. Not yet, anyway.

The rest of the night is uneventful, and I get into bed, my mind filled with images of her.

I wake up to the sun shining through my windows, and turn over in the covers. I feel something wet on my chin. Touching my face, I feel little droplets scattered across my cheeks. Really?! Crying, in your sleep. Man, this is all your fault, you could have stopped it-

I cut off the voice in my head before it can continue. Walking to the kitchen, I take in my surroundings. My apartment is bare, I mean bare, only a couch and some chairs. I need to get my life going again. It's not what she would want.

Something she would want, however, is my breakfast. I'm only in the mood for scrambled eggs, so I start making those.

I'm just about finished when the doorbell rings. Not Zeke again, I'm not in the mood. I set the eggs down, and walk over, peering through the spy hole in the door.

My heart thumps out of my chest. I catch a glimpse of bright blond hair, too low down for me to see who it really is. Think straight, man. Get yourself under control. She's dead. Dead.

I know the person isn't Zeke, but it could be someone else I don't want to see, like Belle. I need to find out anyway, I can't just leave them waiting. I wipe my sweaty hands on my jeans, and try to stop my body from shaking. I pull open the door, and my mouth goes slack.

"Tris," I exhale, "It's you."


	2. Chapter 2

Tris's POV:

It's him.

I don't know what I was expecting, really, but his reaction is not all that I wanted. He opens the door quickly, and I can tell he hasn't been up for long. His hair is wild and uncombed, it's a bit longer than I remember. He's let his facial hair grow in more, too. When he recognizes me, it finally clicks in his brain, his eyes grow wider than I've ever seen them. His face seemed to drop at the sight of me, like he was disappointed.

It seems like hours but a few seconds later he says breathily, "Tris."

I don't know what to do, I try to calm my shaking hands by placing them on my legs but that doesn't help. I just stare up at him for a while, a longing filling in the empty space that I've felt in my chest for so long. All I want to do is kiss him, but I don't think that would be the best thing.

Neither of us say a thing. He stares at me, still in obvious shock. He hasn't moved an inch. His eyes are locked on mine, they look just like I remember, but now secrets swim under the murky blue. I hold his gaze, and I feel tears threatening to break free. I try to swallow them down, but instead I make a strange coughing noise that rattles my throat. You've prepared for this for so long, Beatrice, why can't you get yourself together? Say what you rehearsed, remember? I had tried so hard to prepare myself for what would happen when I finally returned to the city but it didn't sink in until I saw him standing there at his door.

Somehow I find the courage to stutter, "Hi." My voice managed to crack on that one word, and I replay it in my mind. I sound so feeble, so little, so weak.

Tobias's POV:

It's her.

I thought my eyes were tricking me, I'd seen plenty of hallucinations of her before but this one was different. I felt her. When she walks into a room you can't ignore her, she commands attention. To me, anyway. She may be small and fragile looking but she's the strongest person I knew. Or know. I'm not really sure.

She nor I really know what to do. I just want to kiss her,to feel her next to me again. I've missed her so much over these past years…so much has changed, but being with her makes me feel like I'm back where we started. I have to do something, so I clear my throat and gesture for her to come in. She breaks my stare and looks down at her feet, quietly shuffling into my apartment. Her curiosity sets in as her eyes enlarge, and she studies everything about the room. It's embarrassing, to have her see what a mess my life has become without her being here. It's pretty obvious to anyone with eyes and common sense that I haven't been feeling myself, just from the furniture.

I smell something burning, and I realize it's the eggs. How long were we just standing there? I rush over there, and turn off the heat, praying the smoke detector won't go off. I turn around, just to make sure she's still there, that she's really here. She is. The obvious question pounding against the walls of my head, every fiber of my being pushing towards an answer, is how is she still alive? She feels my gaze on her, as she turns around silently and looks me in the eye.

I've totally forgotten about the eggs I'm holding, and almost drop them but manage to put them down on the white countertops, that have barely been used the whole 2 years I've lived here. I spend most of my time at the gym, working away my sorrows.

"I know what you're thinking," she starts, her voice strong, "and I want to explain." She looks down at her hand, then back up at me. Tears fill her eyes and she brushes them away quickly, before they can fall.

I feel a prickling sensation behind my nose, and soon tears threaten to fill my eyes too. I look down at my feet, scuffing them. I try to stop the tears but I can't do anything. They flow freely and steadily, two, three at a time, leaving marks down the side of my cheek. I hear her sniffle, then a cough to cover it up.

She continues, "I want to explain. I...I," she begins to cry like me. We're both too dignified to just let it happen. "You might want to…sit down….maybe…it will be…easier..." She says slowly, mumbling. Her voice sounds like it might break at any second. And by the expression on her face, she feels like her whole body might, too.

I make my way over to one of the dining chairs I stuck in the living room. I sit down stiffly and stay in a tense position, every muscle in my body rigid, my eyes locked on the white floor beneath my feet.

"I guess…I guess I'll start from the beginning," she sits down on one of the chairs across from me, her posture stiff like mine. "One thing before I begin. There is no death serum, it doesn't exist, at least not anymore. Ok. So…after you…left," she pauses on that word, like it pains her to say it. Her tears have dried up for now, but the pained expression on her face tells me she is far from OK. She stays away from emotion, sounding as Erudite as possible, I'm guessing on purpose.

She clears her throat, starting again. "After you left, things kinda…fell apart." She pauses, then looks at me for a split second, looking away quickly. "You don't know this already,do you?" I do know some of it, but I'd rather let her explain. I shake my head. "Right. So long story short, there were problems with the plan and the Bureau was clued into what was going on, to say the least. Guards were everywhere and I was leading Caleb when we got caught…I took the backpack from him and managed to get by. I knew, I still know, that he would have never survived. I shot," she clears her throat again, "I shot so many people I can't even count them." Tears well up in her eyes, and she just brushes them away, quickly regaining her composure. Seeing her upset makes me upset too, but I'm already so distressed I can't get worse. I'm trying to fight off tears and full-out sobs at the same time while trying to comprehend what she's telling me.

This is obviously real, I know it's not a dream. I feel it.

"I got to the door of the lab, and I stepped in. There were no guards as far as I could tell, so I went ahead. I started to feel what I thought was death serum seep in, but it was really a simulation serum. See, in the Bureau, they'd had the simulation technology for Divergents for a long, long time, but with Erudite going so out of control and everything a mess they never gave it to them." With this she looks over at me sadly, making sure I'm still there. I don't move, only shift my leg a little bit to let her know. I'm bent over in the chair now, tears falling constantly, my head cradled in between my hands, which are in a locked position.

She gets the cue. "So the simulation serum was highly effective on me, and in real life it knocked me out right there on the ground, in the hallway, but I was put into a "dream" state, just like other serums. But this time I wasn't aware, at all. In the simulation I fought off the death serum, and raced into the room to find David waiting for me. He shot me twice and I managed to reset their memories by pressing the button…but it was all so real Tob-" she stops before saying my name, and cringes like it hurt her.

"Uhm," she continues, "so in real life after I got knocked out, Matthew ran in and set off the memory serum, and then he dragged me out and took me back to his lab. They kept me in there for a while, but I was out cold almost the whole time, they kept me sedated." She looks at me expectantly, but I still haven't moved. My eyes stare somewhere past her, and I can't bring myself to look at her.

"Their plan originally was to do that. They kept me for some experiments, to finally figure out if the GP and GD thing was real once and for all. I didn't hear what they had to say to me but I don't care, you…you know I don't care." She pauses for a while. "And, my, uh, my body…they faked it…don't ask me how I don't know." She sighs with a sense of finality. She looks around again, drumming her fingers on the arm rest of the chair she's in.

I can't make my mouth form words, and if I could what words would I say? She looks at me sadly, almost pitifully, until once again tears start from her eyes. Silent, this time. She makes no sound as she gets up, light as a feather, and heads towards the door. "Wait," I say quietly, my voice strangled and garbled. I clear my throat, and say it again, louder. "Wait."

She hesitates, then turns around. She speaks so softly, "I'll come back tomorrow." She stays there for a few seconds, and without looking at me again she exits the room swiftly, not leaving the slightest trace of her existence.

I'm left sitting in the chair, all alone. Unlocking my hands, I cover my face and then the sobs begin.


	3. Chapter 3

Tris's POV:

Christina already knows. I've stayed with her for about a week before I managed to muster up the courage to go see Four. We've grown apart so much I've even started calling him by his nickname again subconsciously.

I know how he must feel, confused, and lost, and alone. If I thought he was dead for 2 and a half years, then he appeared at my door one day, I'd be a wreck.

"You there?" Christina demands, breaking my train of thought. I've been like that a lot lately.

"Yeah, I'm here," I mumble. She's going to want to know how it went. Frankly, I'm not in the mood to tell. I push past her as she opens the door for me, beckoning me to come in. She has an apartment in the Hancock building, near the Dauntless compound. Er, past Dauntless compound. I keep forgetting it doesn't exist.

Her apartment is pretty well furnished. The main room has a black and white theme, reflecting back on her past lives. There are two big leather couches, and a glass coffee table with a few combat magazines on it.

There's a big kitchen with all new appliances, a nice bathroom, and an office. She has the master bedroom, a big room with 5 star views of Chicago. I sleep in the guest room, until I can get a place of my own. I walk in to set my bag down. The room is small, not too small but not exactly big either. Cozy. There's a little single bed in the corner, a walk in closet, and a nightstand.

Plopping my bag on the bed, I quickly get changed into comfy clothes. I find myself picking black, still. Don't know if I'll ever get over that. I sit on the bed to collect my thoughts and prepare for "spilling the beans," as she says, to Christina. I feel a wave of relief when my body relaxes on the bed, I hadn't even realized how tense I was this whole afternoon. I feel something wet slide down my cheek, and a gut wrenching sob follows. I cry and cry out all the sadness I didn't know I had, sitting on the bed sniffling and moaning tears streaming down my face, smearing my mascara and making black lines down my face.

I don't know how long I was sitting there crying, but when I finally pull myself together I see a worried Christina leaning in the doorway. My coming back was hard on her, but she's gotten over it. I guess after living with me for a week and realizing it was real, she's more happy than anything. I wish I could say the same for myself.

Without saying a word, she silently walks over to the bed and sits down next to me, putting her arm around me in a comforting way. We don't speak, just sit there for a long, long time, until both of us are too tired to move. We sleep on my bed, all curled up together for the rest of the night.

Tobias's POV:

Waiting for her is hell.

She said she'd come back "in the morning," but really who knows when that is? I woke up at 5:30, and was too nervous or excited, I guess, to go back to sleep. I've already taken a shower, gotten dressed, eaten breakfast, fixed my hair twice, and cleaned the whole house, and it's only 8.

I feel bad about the way I acted last night. I couldn't help it, really. Her voice kept playing in my mind over and over, and I guess I finally realized it's not her fault. It's nobody's, really, I think the whole thing was some misunderstanding. Anger flares up in me to even think about Nita, or even Matthew. I thought he was on our side, at least. Nita. If she never…if she wasn't there…if she didn't start this whole mess, I'd still have Tris with me. We missed each other for 2 and a half years of our lives. I want to get them back as quickly as I can.

Just as I'm about to go and fix my hair yet again, I hear a knock on the door. My heart hammers in my chest, and I go over to open it.

Zeke stands in front of me, proud as ever. I let out an exasperated sigh, a little louder than I'd hoped to.

"Woah, sorry dude, didn't mean to interrupt you, or anything. What's going on, anyways?" he cranes his neck inside my apartment.

"Nothing," I snap, "Is going on. Right now, anyways," I finish awkwardly.

He smiles. Darn. He knows me too well. "Where is she?" He asks amusedly.

He knows? How does he know about Tris? Does everyone know? "How did you…" my voice falters.

"Brother. You're all done up, for starters. The hair? New shirt? Second thing, you cleaned your apartment. It wasn't even dirty. And most obviously, you're nervous. Nothing can make the invincible Four nervous like a girl," he smirks.

Whew. So he doesn't know about Tris. Am I really that obvious? "It's not a girl, for your information," I pause. Should I tell him? He's gonna find out eventually. "It's…," I choke, "it's her."

He knows what I mean. "Dude. I'm really sorry for you, I am. But it's been 2 and a half years, bro. You need to move on," he tries to be sympathetic, but I take it as an insult.

"That's not what I meant!" I exclaim, "She's alive! She's here, in Chicago! I didn't believe a word of it at first, but then she explained the whole thing and she was actually there, and she said she'd come back next-"

Zeke has a dumbfounded look on his face. "Wait. You mean to tell me, she came to you last night," I nod, "and explained to you how she was alive?" I nod again, while Zeke shakes his head. "Four, I thought you were past the delusional stage-"

I'm just about to interrupt and try to explain more when I see her come out of the elevator. Beautiful. She strides out of the elevator confidently, then stops short when she sees Zeke. I can't help but stare. I notice so many things about her I didn't see yesterday in my emotional…state. She's gotten a tiny bit taller, her hair's longer, down past her shoulders an inch. She's filled out a bit, too. But those eyes are still the same. Gray-blue and piercing through the heart. Mine, at least.

Zeke must notice me staring, and he turns around and his jaw swings wide open. Tris looks at me for help, but all I can do is stand there and stare at her, too. We all freeze for a few seconds, until Zeke breaks the silence.

"Hey," he says quietly.

"Hi," she responds.

He clears his throat,"Well, ahem, this is obviously very, uh, real, so I'll just leave you two to…it," he says, smiling devilishly at his pun.

"Ha-ha," I retort without emotion, "now please do us a favor and scoot!"

He smirks again, looks at us both, and runs down the stairs. Once I'm sure he's gone, I can't hold myself back any longer. She's so beautiful, and I'm contemplating kissing her when I feel her lips on mine, pressing us together. She reaches up and puts her hands in my hair, the way she always did. I'm lost in the feeling, she's back, she's back, and I haven't kissed her in 2 and a half years.

Our kiss is hungry, passionate, we kiss like we're dying and this is our last chance. I slip my hands around her waist, pressing her even closer to me. I feel the warmth of her body against mine, washing away all the cold I felt when she wasn't here with me.


	4. Chapter 4

Tris's POV:

Zeke slinks down the staircase, smiling the whole way. He hasn't changed a bit. I turn towards Tobias, who is looking at me the same way he did in that room at the compound, at the chasm: like I'm the only thing around worth looking at. I still don't understand 'this,' but right now I'm just happy I have him and he has me.

I don't even think before I cross the hallway and crush my lips against his, pushing against him passionately. He doesn't resist for a second, melting into the kiss instantly. I put my arms around his neck, and he puts his hands on my waist. We stand outside his apartment kissing for so long. I didn't realize how much I really missed him until I felt the familiar pressure of his lips on mine.

I pull away slowly, my lips parted, feeling all the sensations he left with fullness. "Hey," I say awkwardly, a small smile forming on my lips.

"Hey," he responds. A similar smile creeps up his face, and God he is so handsome when he smiles like that. All I want to do is kiss him again…

Tobias's POV:

I smile back, my body feeling cold from the absence of her. She looks so cute, standing there smiling at me. Her cheeks turn pink, like I knew they would. She tries to cover it up by fixing her hair, making her even more adorable. She turns her head towards me, pale eyes gazing up into mine. She searches my eyes while I search hers. They are full of love and lust, as I imagine mine are as well. I feel the urge to kiss her again, and I need to stop myself. We need to talk. About what, I don't know, but we need to talk.

I voice my opinion to her softly, and she nods. I stand looking at her, I can't think of anything but her, my trail of thought lost…

"Uh, Tobias? Are we going in now?" She asks, a quizzical look on her face.

"Oh, uh, yeah," I try to recover. I got lost in your beautiful eyes, is what I want to add, but I'm not sure now is the time for gooey couple stuff. I unlock the door swiftly, and hold it open, motioning for her to go in. She obliges, walking in confidently, eyes wide, taking in everything.

"You can sit wherever you want," I say, gesturing towards the couch and chairs. Its pretty obvious that when she died, er, went into recluse, I guess, it was pretty hard on me. My apartment isn't personalized, at all, and it's not a secret.

She sits down slowly on the couch, and I follow her, sitting down in one of the chairs. Tris starts, "Look, I know things were really messed up and out of my, er, our control, I still want to say I'm sorry for what I did to you," she chokes out the last few words, "I couldn't imagine it being the other way around. You are so strong, and every day I counted on you holding on until I could get back to you. I tried to write you letters, and Nita told me they were being sent out, but…I was like a prisoner there. She controlled everything and everyone, including Matt, uh, Matthew.

"I even tried to escape, once. I was almost out, but they caught me and brought me back. The whole thing was so boring, I was depressed for the 6 months I was conscious. They ran tests on me, and experimented on me like some kind of lab rat," she shudders at the memory.

My heart pangs with empathy. Divergence has always been a cause for experiments, and she and I have been part of our fair share.

"It was the worst experience of my life, Tobias, and I can't imagine losing you again," a single tear slides down her cheek. I cross the room and sit down on the couch beside her. I rub her tears away with my thumb, one at a time. I crouch down on the floor in front of her.

Holding her chin up carefully, I say, "Look at me, Tris."

Her eyes slowly lift and find mine. They are filled with sadness and remorse. It hurts me so much to even think about her being in pain, or sadness, let alone depressed. "I need you to get one thing out of this, ok?" I say slowly. She nods, her head bobbing up and down on my hand.

"I love you, Tris, I love you so much and I know that what happened wasn't your fault, or mine. It wasn't anybody's fault except for Nita," I cringe at her name, "Nothing will change the way I'll feel about you. Ever."

Her tears slow, and her breathing gets steadier. I want to kiss her on the lips, I want to hold her against me, feel her there again. But I settle for a peck on the cheek.

She puts her head in her hands as I pull away. Shoot. I shouldn't have done that. But she starts laughing, a quiet laugh. Giggling.

"What?" I ask. She just laughs more. "Tris. What are you laughing at?" I'm getting concerned. She's emotionally unstable, I mean, of course she would be but still-

"I'm laughing," she says in between giggles, "because I don't deserve you, Tobias Eaton." Her laughter dies down to little chuckles under her breath. She looks down at the floor. "I don't deserve you."

"Beatrice Prior," I start, "I believe you have it backwards. Its me who doesn't deserve you. I'm such a lucky guy, you know? Sure, lots of guys have girlfriends, but I have a beautiful, smart, strong, brave, and sexy girl all to myself."

She lifts her head, looking me in the eyes, "You're right. You don't deserve me, do you?" She jokes. I shake my head, smiling. When I look up at her she's staring at me, her eyes more serious now. We both watch each other for a few seconds, then I lean in and kiss her on the lips. I want her so badly, but I slow the kiss down, slow and sweet. We take our time, repositioning ourselves so we're laying next to each other on the couch.

She moves herself on top of me, the kiss intensifying. Finally her tongue brushes my lip. I let her in, and we kiss harder, more passionately. I don't know if I can hold back, we can't go all the way, not yet, at least, not now. I can't stop, and put my arms around her waist, pulling her towards me.

She moves to lift off my shirt, and I'm letting her, but she bumps my arm hard and I topple off the couch, landing in a heap on the floor. I hear a burst of laughter from above. Her head pops over the edge of the couch, she looks so beautiful when she's laughing. Her hair's a mess and her face is red but she's mine, and she's here, we're here. She leans down and kisses me sloppily, still smiling. She pulls away all to soon, leaving me laughing on the floor.


	5. Chapter 5

Tobias's POV:

I wake to the sound of rain outside my window. Drip, drop, drip, drop. The rhythmic sounds usually lull me to sleep, but right now they're keeping me awake. I turn off my stomach and lay on my back, careful to remove my arms from Tris's body quickly. I'd like to say we talked and kissed and did more than sit in my apartment, but we really only kissed. But hey, I'm not complaining.

I glance down at Tris. Her small body moves with every slow, gentle breath. She's in one of my shirts again, and it goes down just beyond her thighs. Reminds me of that time in Amity…you know. A whole flood of memories rushes in, memories I tried to forget. Tris and I kissing by the chasm, kissing in my bedroom, kissing in the hallway at the Bureau, kissing in the room in the Bureau…there are more, but right now I can only seem to remember memories that involve us kissing. I also remember the not-so-perfect times, too. Not that any of it was perfect, but some moments got close.

A wave of fear crashes over me as I think back to all those times I almost lost her. Each time, she gave herself up. Each time, I thought she was going to die. And each time I thought she might learn from her ways, stop being so suicidal. She never did get over that, I realize now, because the last time she almost died was when she took her brother's place on a death mission. I pray that she's over it now, but somehow I know that's not the case. When we were in Erudite headquarters, after Jeanine was killed, I threatened to leave her. In the moment, I wasn't lying. But I realized that I could never leave her, as long as we're both here on this planet I need us to be together. Her "death" showed me that. I'm not saying I regret it. I don't. I thought it was a wake-up call, but apparently, it'll take more than that to get her to value her life.

I place my hand on her cheek, caressing it mindlessly, causing her to stir. I immediately retract it, but she's already awake. Her light eyes flutter open, staring into mine. "Hello," she says sleepily.

I just smile. "Did I wake you up?"

She shakes her head slightly, "No. I wasn't sleeping well anyways," she says.

I wasn't sleeping well either, I think, because I was so distracted by you. Was she having the same problem? Suddenly, I have an idea. "Well," I start slowly, "Since we're both wide awake," she smiles at my joke, breaking into a yawn, "we might as well do something." I look at her expectantly.

She reads my clock, "It's only 2 in the morning, Tobias."

"I'm aware," I say, with a smirk.

"Hmmm," she ponders out loud, "Depends on what we might be doing."

"I can't disclose that information at the moment."

"Oh, that's how it is?" she asks, a small smile lighting up her face.

"Yup. And you can't do anything about it." I motion for her to get up, and she drowsily rises out of the bed. "Just…change into something casual," I advise. Wouldn't be good to be going out at night in only an oversized tee.

"Thanks for the advice, , because I was wondering whether to wear my prom gown or my mini skirt with heels," she jokes, "But there is a flaw in your plan."

"And what is that?"

"I don't have any clothes here," she says slowly, as if I were a little kid.

Duh. I forgot she wasn't living here. It seems like all the time we were apart has melted away, and its like we've been together the whole time. "Right…well, nobody's going to see you, except me, so," I pause to grab her a pair of my shorts and my smallest shirt, tossing them to her. "And where, may I ask, did your clothes go from before?"

She points to a black heap on the ground. That's right, I remember now. We were cooking some dinner and…I may or may not have dumped water on her, ending up in a food fight. That I have yet to clean up.

"Well, just change into these. They're the smallest things I have."

She pauses, considering where to change. I exit the bedroom, knowing she won't want me in there. I just wish she could get over her hatred of her body. I love her, just the way she is. That's why I love her, because she's the way she is.

"Wait," she calls out. "Come back in."

Tris's POV:

I wait for him to return. He pokes his head in the doorway, eyebrows raised.

"You…you don't have to leave," I say, mustering up all my bravery. Even though I actually do want him to leave, I need to just woman-up and get over it. If we're going to have any future together, I'm going to need to be comfortable around him, let alone change in front of him. I guess my Abnegation's showing.

He comes in slowly, suspiciously. He sits down on the bed stiffly. "Tris, you don't have to-"

"No," I cut him off, "I want to."

He just sits quietly, his dark blue eyes watching me. I slowly take off his shirt. There's nothing to be afraid of. He's your boyfriend, for God's sake! You're not naked, you're in a bra and underwear. He's seen you before. I try to console myself as his eyes wander up and down my body, seemingly taking in everything greedily. I don't understand it…I need to stop thinking like that. He wouldn't be with me if he didn't love me. Right?

As if to answer my question, he gets up and walks over slowly. I wish he'd hurry up, I feel so awkward. He gets to me soon enough, standing over me, too far away. He stares down at me, and all I see in his eyes is love. See! If that's not evidence, I don't know what is-

He kisses me, hard, and I kiss him back just as strongly. He puts his hands on my waist, but this time it's bare, but I make myself okay with that. I reach up to put my hands around his neck, but decide instead to rest them on his chest. I feel every one of his muscles, so defined. Our kisses become hungry, more and more passionate, and I start to feel that even one layer of fabric between us is far to many. As if he can read my mind, he pulls back for a second so he can whip off his shirt smoothly. He comes back and we pick up again, my hands racing over his bare chest and his hands going up my body, and up, and up, and they are getting close to my chest. Very close. Too close.

I'm like a boy. He won't like what he feels, he'll stop and then make me leave, and all of this will be for nothing. My worries stop all together when his hands freeze right beneath my breasts. I'm afraid he's sensed what I was thinking about, but I think he just thought better of it and changed his mind. We keep kissing for a few minutes, but this time slow and steady. I like that better, no matter how much I do want him.

He breaks away, "I hate to break it to you," he smirks, "but if we want to get going we better start now, because it's almost 3."

"Right," I say softly.

"C'mon," he motions to the door. I pull on his clothes, which are very baggy, and follow him out into the hallway. He stands waiting for the elevator, and I slowly creep past him and dash for the stairs.

"Last one down is the rotten egg!" I shout as I run down the stairs. I don't look back to see if he's following me or not, but his thudding footsteps behind me clue me in. I race as fast as I can go, but he's so tall he catches up to me in no time. He takes each flight in 2 steps, and I fear for his safety, but I'm too caught up in the moment. Oh, and trying to beat him.

Despite my best efforts, he gets down to the bottom before me by a few seconds. I hear the horn of the train in the distance. I'm so winded, more so than Tobias, but apparently we need to get on that train, so we begin to run again.

We race out of his building, side by side. My arms pump and my legs stride wildly but he starts to edge in front of me again. The cool night air bites my bare skin, but I don't feel it. I'm about to collapse when we get in range of the train, and I almost do, but I manage to make it to the tracks. We stand still for a few moments, panting. The train passes in a rush of air and noise. We run alongside it, until an empty car comes along. He motions to me to get on, and I obey.

I jump, barely making it in and he follows. "I haven't done that in a long time!" I exclaim.

"Neither have I," he says smiling. We're both high on adrenaline, hearts pumping, blood rushing, senses going crazy. But my heart doesn't slow, and it's because he's here with me. I still can't believe it, we're together again.

"Tris." I stir, but do not move. "Tris!" A little more urgently. I force my eyes open and see Tobias sitting in front of me, very close.

"Hi," I say, giggling.

"Hey." He smiles, "I'd love to stay in here all night, but we have to get off."

I nod. He helps me up, and we stand by the door. I see the familiar buildings pass by, but I can't place where we are. We hold hands and jump, and it isn't until I land on the building that I remember. The last time I was here was the first day of initiation, right after the Choosing Ceremony. We're at the entrance to the Dauntless Compound.

I squeal with excitement, "But Tobias, I thought they would have, I don't know, closed this place up, or something!"

He laughs quietly, "They did."

"Then how…"

"Just like the other times you get in. You jump," he says, obviously amused.

I stick my tongue out at him, trying to remain serious. I burst out giggling after a few seconds, my feeble attempt to fool him failed. He slides his hand in mine, our fingers locking.

"One, two, three!"

And we jump. The wind rushes around us in a symphony of currents, pushing us down and holding us up, moving us slightly from side to side. Our hands remain locked the entire way down, and I shut my eyes and enjoy the sensation.

We land on the net quite tangled, but not injured. I sigh, "Sometimes I wish we still had factions."

Tobias agrees, "Me too. But life without them is so… so liberating. You'll see."

I nod, nuzzling my head against his chest. We lay looking at the stars, silent. I remember the first time I was here. The first time I saw him, I remember that day. How I might not have chosen Dauntless. I'm ever grateful I did. Looking over at him, he's clearly thinking of the same memories. His lips curled into a faint smile, I can't resist but lean over and kiss him on the lips lightly. I pull away quickly, and jump off the net, landing on my feet soundly and running into the compound.

I hear him shout, "Hey!" behind me, and soon his feet are thundering after mine. This time, I have a head start. And I know where I'm going.

I rush into the Pit. It still looks the same, all the shops and walkways, the roar of the Chasm. It's like finally coming home. I haven't been in Chicago for years, and I missed this place the most. And Tobias, of course. Running up the stairs, I dash into the weapons shop before Tobias runs in, safe by seconds.

Breathing heavily, I hurry to find a paintball gun before he finds me. I get one from the back of the store, find some paint balls and load it up. I crouch behind the counter, waiting for him to come and find me.

Soon enough, a panting Tobias arrives at the entrance. He looks so hot when he's out of breath, maybe I should just kiss him instead…NO! I'm getting distracted. He slowly walks in, as if he knows what I'm up to. I close one eye, breathe, and aim.

A pink stain erupts right in the middle of his chest, and before I know it he's behind me, swooping me off my feet and into his arms bridal style. "Hey now, big boy. What do you think you're doing?"

He just suppresses a smile and walks down the stairs with me in his arms. We reach the railing at the Chasm and he sets me down lightly. "Remember this place?" he asks, smirking.

"Nope. Why?" I joke.

"Funny."

I open my mouth to say something, but I'm stopped short by the pressure of his lips. I melt into him, we stand there together, the water tickling our legs, relishing every moment.

"Hey, kids! What do you think you're doing?"


	6. Chapter 6

Tobias's POV:

Damn. I thought we were safe…nobody would have any reason to come down here, right? That's what I thought.

The man shines his flashlight on Tris and I, and we both recoil from the bright light. Squinting, I can't make out anything about this man other than that he's on the other side of the Pit standing rigid. Tris curls into me, and I move my arm protectively around her. I will not let her get hurt, ever again. I'll never leave her. My mind flashes back to the last words we shared before she died, before I left. Her voice plays in my mind, I love you. So trusting. I love you too. I'll see you soon. I've heard those words in my head billions of times, going over them trying to relish the last memory I have with her.

I shake the thought from my head, its okay now. You have her. She's here with you, she's back.

"Don't move a muscle!" I almost forgot about our situation, lost in thought. The man moves closer slowly, "Stay put!" His voice sounds familiar. As the man gets close enough for me to make out his features, I blink and do a double take.

"Zeke?"

The man chuckles, turning off his flashlight. My eyes slowly adjust to the dim of the Pit, and I see that it is in fact Zeke. "Hey, Tobias. Hi Tris," he says, a look of amusement plastered on his face, clear as day.

"Hello, Zeke," I respond coolly. I notice he's wearing his tech uniform. "What brings you here?"

"I was sent to gather some leftover information from the computers. We're having trouble with one of the programs…you know, don't you? You're the one who sent the report," he looks at me expectantly.

"Oh, that's right. I hope you find what you're looking for." Zeke had been working with the computer techs, whilst I was becoming a politician. I was really done with computers, after everything that's happened in the past. He was mad at me for a while, about Uriah, and I think it was best we were at separate jobs. About a year ago, he finally forgave me, and I'm glad to have my friend back.

Zeke just chuckled, "You know, I don't think you're supposed to be in here, do you?"

"I could say the same about you," I say, a smile forming on my lips.

He flashes a permit. "Ahah! But you cannot, my friend!" Smiling broadly he says, "Don't worry. I won't report you. Just don't do it again, okay lovebirds?"

"Warning taken," I say. With that, Zeke laughs and heads off to the old control room. I turn to Tris, "You were awful quiet. Is everything okay?"

She looks up at me, "Everything is perfect. I'm still getting used to being with everyone again. I didn't have much social contact while I was…" she trails off. I know what she means.

"I know. But you're here now, right?"

She smiles, and takes my hand. We walk back to the train together, laughing and kissing and talking together.

Tris's POV:

When I wake up, the sun is already high over head and seeping through the curtains in Tobias's apartment. Even though we're not that high up at all, he still likes to keep the windows covered. I look around, hungry. Mmm. Bacon. I think I must be imagining the smell when I see Tobias come out of the kitchen holding bacon and eggs. He sits down at the table and eats slowly.

How long did he let me sleep? I have a job interview today…shoot. He looks over, "Hello, beautiful. What's wrong?"

"Did I say that out loud?" He nods. I scramble out of bed, putting on my shoes in a rush, "I have a job interview today. At the gym. Just something temporary until I can decide what I really want to do, but I need to get going." I rush over and give him a quick peck on the cheek.

"Wait," he says, going into the kitchen. He rummages around for what seems like forever, and finally emerges with a bowl of eggs and bacon. "Take this to go. I'll call you," he pauses, realizing something, "wait, you don't have a cell phone, do you?" I shake my head. I didn't know that was something everyone had now. "I'll get you one later. Just…come by when you're done, okay?" I nod, waving and running out the door.

I'm halfway down in the elevator when I realize I'm wearing his clothes. A baggy black shirt and dark gray sweatpants that drag on the floor. I check my watch. 1:00. I can't go back now…oh well. It's just a gym, not an office.

I run to catch the train, jumping in while holding the eggs, miraculously. I look around the car, and my heart stutters when I see the familiar face in the corner.

Peter.

My heart starts throbbing out of my chest, and I try to think of ways to escape, but I can't jump out over the river and there's no way I could get into another car. I slink into the back corner, every muscle clenched. My mind is telling me to be brave, but I can't, I just can't-

"Hello!" I peer over, and I see a smiling Peter, way happier than I'd ever seen him. He waves and smiles, an innocent look in his eyes that hasn't been there once before.

"Hi, Peter," I say quietly, expecting him to lash out at any moment, his perfectly calculated happy demeanor extinguished at the touch of a finger.

His look changes, but to something more confused than anything. "Do I…do I know you?" He asks.

I'm about to start insulting him and yelling about how I'd never belive it for a second, but I see that look in his eyes that is still there. He looks genuinely confused. "Peter. If you're playing games, I'm not going to participate and give you the joy of watching me suffer," I say harshly.

He looks taken aback. "I'm not playing games," he says, shaking his head vigorously, "I don't know who you are." He looks out the window, lost in thought. "Oh, this is my stop. Nice meeting you…"

"Tris," I cut in. "Nice seeing you too, Peter," I say, still not buying it.

He waves and jumps out, I see him land safely on his feet. There are other ways of transport now…like the subway. I don't know why he's taking the trains…but then again, I don't know why I'm taking them either. I guess it's all I know.

"So I assume you'll be moving in with Tobias?" Christina asks.

"Yeah, if he asks. I got a job so I can help pay. But I'm not barging in if he doesn't ask me to, so don't get too excited about getting rid of me just yet," I say.

"Too bad. I was hoping you'd leave," she says with a smirk, "So…you're going to his place for dinner?" She raises her eyebrows teasingly.

"Not exactly. He just told me to come over when I'm done. Which is what I'm trying to do, if you'd let me," I say, trying to push past her into my room.

"Not yet, young one. What exactly do you plan on wearing?"

I stutter, "Well, I was going to, uh…I don't know! Does it matter?"

She smiles at me like I'm a young child. "It does, honey. It matters a lot. So, seeing as you only have two tops, one pair of pants-all of which are black, may I add-and not a single dress!"  
"Well, sorry. If I'd of known about the clothing requirements I would've bought out the mall before I came to you," I say sarcastically.

"Well," she starts excitedly, "Do you know what this means?"

I have a feeling I know exactly what it means.

"SHOPPING!" she squeals, clapping her hands together and jumping up and down like a little girl.

"That's great and all, but I need to get going. Now," I try to get into my room.

"Hold up," she says. "You can wear my clothes for tonight. But only this once, okay?"

"I got it." And with that, she runs off to her room. I sit waiting, while she takes forever to come out with a simple outfit. She holds a blue layered dress, with tons of ruffles, and some white sandals. I feel weird wearing other colors, but they don't matter anymore. I have to get over that.

I go get changed into the dress, and hate it as soon as she zips it up. It goes down just to my knees, too short for my taste, and I look like a frilly princess.

"Gorgeous!" Christina squeals. "Okay, I have to let you go now, but next time you're not getting off that easy! Makeup is a girl's best friend!" She sings.

"Got it. Thanks," I say, rushing out the door after giving her a hug.

Tobias's POV:

Who knew an interview could take so long? I'm about to call Christina when I hear her knock on the door softly. I walk over swiftly, and open the door to the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. She's wearing a blue dress with lots of layers, and her hair is straight past her shoulders.

"Christina," she says. That explains it. She starts to apologize about the dress, but I sweep her up off her feet, literally, and carry her into my apartment. I set her down on the couch.

"Tris," I start, "I don't want to hear it. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, and I can't take it when you say otherwise. You are smart, and kind, and selfless, and brave, and you're mine. And I love you," I finish. I haven't said those words to anyone in such a long time.

She looks up at me, a smile forming on her perfect lips "Tobias," she starts, but is cut off by my lips up against hers. She relaxes into me immediately. I almost forget about what I was going to talk to her about, she's so warm in my arms.

I pull away slowly after a few minutes. She pouts, her swollen lips make me want to kiss her even more. I take a deep breath. "Tris, I know we just got back and everything, but I wanted to know if you wanted to…to live with me?"

Trolled you! Haha, no. They're not getting married…yet.


	7. Chapter 7

Tris's POV:

My boyfriend is so cute! He planned this whole dinner thing at his place, and asked me to move in with him. I said yes, of course! I'm really excited to live with him, but as always the doubts seep into my mind. Then the worries, which cascade into all-out fear. What if he doesn't like me enough and once he really gets to know me it's not right? What if we've grown apart too much over the years and it's not going to work? What if he tries to…to…have sex with me? I've only ever…you know…done it once. In the room at the Bureau. It was really nice, I mean really nice but I'm afraid all over again. It's as if my fear was never gotten over.

I feel a pair of muscular arms creep around my back and hook onto my waist. I tilt my head back and I'm met with the most handsome boy, er, man I've ever seen. I keep forgetting Tobias and I are adults now. I'm 19, he's 21. So much time has passed, yet every thing seems the same.

A small smirk finds its way on to his lips, and that's all I can take. Standing on my tiptoes with my head leaning back all the way, by some miracle my lips find his. It's really uncomfortable, and as if he senses that, he pulls me around to face him, our lips locked the whole time.

His hands move up towards my stomach, and he feels every inch of my body as he slowly works his way up…there. My skin is on fire every where he touches, and the parts not touching him suddenly become freezing cold. I'm split in two, cold as ice and hot as flames. His left hand grazes the bottom of my breast and I freeze. He pulls away swiftly, leaving all of me to turn cold.

"I'm sorry," I blurt out. I don't know why but tears start coming out of my eyes.

He pulls me back in an embrace, sighing loudly against my ear. I don't react, because I don't blame him. I'd be fed up with myself if I was him. "It's fine," he says. "I'm sorry. I just…I thought you were over that."

"I was. I don't know what the problem is. You must feel so angry, and I feel terrible but I just don't-"

He shushes me, "I don't care what I want. I only care about you." He brushes away my tears. "Do you still want to spend the night?"

I nod against his chest. "Can I…go take a shower?" I ask timidly. I'm actually feeling a bit grungy, but my real motivation is to get myself together. When I come out of that shower I will not be afraid of him at all. Not anymore.

He nods. "Towels are on the wall." With that, I kiss him on the cheek sadly and hurry off to collect myself.

Tobias's POV:

I hear the bathroom door shut quietly, and the her blonde hair is gone from my view. I brush my hand through my hair, sighing loudly, and plop down on the couch. I feel bad but…this time, it's not my fault. She gave me the impression…nevermind. I don't want to think about it.

Seeing as I still don't have a TV, I just lay on the couch listening to the water running and counting down the time until I can see my girlfriend again. I set the shower to shut off after 15 minutes, and if you turn it back on the water is cold. I hope she knows that.

I hear a slight scream as the water stops and comes back on. Guess not, I probably should have told her. I wonder what's taking her so long…

Tris's POV:

Still recovering from the freezing water, I exit and grab a towel, wrapping myself up in it tightly. I realized why I'm afraid. I'm afraid he won't love me, he won't like what he gets. I've come to realize that's irrational. I don't think getting over my fear will be as simple as that, but it's definitely the first step. I take a deep breath and comb through my hair, thinking twice about what I'm going to do.

I want him. He wants me, I think. Shouldn't it be that simple?

I let out a shaky exhale and open the door a crack, wearing only my towel. I made sure I "forgot" to bring clothes into the shower, first to see how he would react, and second, so I could get over this stupid fear once and for all.

His eyes dart towards the door, and his eyes light up in a smile. He looks away quickly. Good, I think. He's not going to force anything on me.

My voice cracks, "You can look at me, you know." When he does, I feel my insides melting. He rolled up his shirt sleeves to his elbows, and unbuttoned the top halfway. His eyes sparkle flirtatiously, and his mouth quirks when his eyes travel below my face. I try to keep my cheeks normal colored but the way his eyes linger on my thighs is killing me. Heat rushes up my face and ears.

He laughs. I give him a look. Putting his hands up in protest, he says "Don't blame me. You're the one who told me to!" I stick my tongue out at him, getting more rumbling laughter. He's still slumped on the couch, one leg propped up.

I slowly inch out of the door further, leaving wet marks on the carpet. My hair drips down constantly, and I throw it to one side onto the towel so it can dry a bit. Wringing it out in the towel, being careful not to expose anything, I slowly walk towards him. He keeps that ridiculous smirk on his face the whole time, watching me struggle. I'll show him.

In one swift move I've got him pinned to the couch, his face lights up with surprise. Before he can say anything, I press my lips to his, keeping my hands firm on the floor. He replies, but his hands start to wander.

Let's just say one thing led to another, leading to my towel falling off and his clothes being discarded on the floor.

Tobias's POV:

I wake to the feel of a small body pressed up against my own. I open my eyes slowly and find myself staring into her gray ones. A smile creeps up on my face, remembering what happened last night.

"Wipe that grin off your face mister, if you ever want that to happen again," Tris says sternly, a hard look on her face. I can't help but laugh. She lets out a frustrated huff, and rolls over. I catch her by the waist, feeling her warm skin against mine, pulling her back to me.

"You love it," I say smugly. She tries to keep her face serious but miserably fails, resulting in more laughter from my side of the bed. She promptly gets up and pushes up off the bed, forgetting she had no clothes on, and sits back down pulling the covers over her. I laugh again.

"Sure its funny," she says, a devious look in her eyes, "when you're not the one being laughed at." With that, she swiftly pulls all the sheets off the bed, leaving me completely exposed with nothing to cover up. She wraps them around herself, heading towards the kitchen.

Seeing as it's my bedroom, I put on some sweatpants and no shirt-I want to see her squirm-and go into the kitchen. She pulled out some cereal, and is eating it at the table quietly, the sheets still wrapped around her.

She eyes my sweatpants as I come in, saying, "That's cheating." I chuckle, bending down to get some cereal as well. I sit down with her at the table, a playful smile pulling at my mouth. "What is it now?" she asks, exasperated. She's trying not to smile, but when she puts her head in her hands trying to act annoyed she's laughing very hard.

Ignoring her feeble attempts at covering up, "I have an idea."

"I got that," she says, still laughing. She looks straight at me, "Care to share?"

"I was getting there," I say, eyeing her sternly, my "instructor Four" look coming into play, "I thought we should have, like, a dinner party. You know, to welcome you back and everything, considering half our friends don't know you're here."

She smiles warmly, "Ok, that's a nice idea, I do admit. But not as nice as what I thought you might say."

I wink at her, "And what was that, Miss Prior?"

She laughs, "Well, it's no use now, because of your behavior this morning you won't be getting it anyways," she winks back at me. "Now, who to invite…"

One hour and many kisses later, we've come up with a guest list. We're inviting Zeke, Christina, Robert, Matthew, Evelyn, and Susan. Coming with Susan, is Caleb. I didn't tell Tris, and I know it's bad of me for inviting him without her knowing, but she doesn't know they're married and I don't have the heart to tell her myself. She'd never go see him herself, and they're the only family they have left. They need to repair their hearts.

"When do you want to have it?" She asks.

I think for a minute. "Tonight?"

She smiles, "Sure. I just hope everyone can make it."

And then a thought sparks in my head. Peter. She doesn't know, but he's good now, like really good. He works for the city in the department of people in need. He helps homeless people, makes plans, and holds charity events to get them what they need. He's a real saint. We need to invite him, too.

"Tris," I start. "There's someone else we need to invite," I gulp. "Peter."

She stares at me, mouth opening to a little "o."

"Have you lost your mind?"

"No! Tris, listen. He didn't inoculate himself for the memory serum, and he told me he wanted to forget everything and become a better person. I tried to stop him, telling him he was a coward, but he just ignored me. I couldn't hold him back, and he made himself forget everything."

Her mouth shuts, then opens again to speak, pausing a second. "That explains it," she says. I look at her, a confused look plastered on my face. "I saw him on the train. He was overly nice, and I thought he was faking it. Creeped me out. Well, at least I know I'm safe. I don't know if I can ever forgive him, ever, but sure. Invite him."

I smile. "I love you, you know."

She smiles too. "I know."


	8. Chapter 8

Tobias's POV:

"So, Tris…what are we planning on feeding these people?" It just struck me that neither of us really know how to cook.

She plunges deep into thought. "Well…I can make chicken, peas, and-nevermind, nobody wants that. What can you make?"

I scratch the back of my neck, "I can make…scrambled eggs," I pause, she looks at me with a teasing look on her face, "And…I can make…hamburgers! I can make hamburgers."

She smiles, breaking out into a soft giggle, "Are you sure?"

I sit up in my chair and lean across the table, so my face is only inches from hers. "Do I look like I'm sure?" I ask, trying not to smile.

"Nope," she says, smiling. "I'd love it if you could make that, but I have to tell you, I'm doubting your abilities."

I stay perfectly still while saying quietly, so she can barely hear, in my most menacing voice, "I think that's all about to change." Before she can even get a chance to laugh I close the remaining space between us, kissing her lightly on the lips. I feel her laughing against my mouth, I'll show her that I really can cook a good burger.

I pull away and she's still laughing. A wry smile creeps onto my face. "Come on, Tris. We've got shopping to do."

Tris's POV:

Tobias drags me out of his apartment to his car, yes he has a car. It never occurred to me before. "Wow, this is really nice," I joke. It's a cheapo car, big enough to fit four people, barely. It's colored a kind of greenish gold with tinted windows that are small and dirty. He pulls the keys out of his pocket, opening up the door for me. I get in easily. He hurries around to the other side and slides in the car, bumping his head on the top.

"Ow!" he exclaims, getting in quickly and rubbing his head.

Trying not to laugh, I say, "Ever thought about, oh I don't know, getting a nicer car?"

He looks at me very seriously. "I love my car. Even though she's a bit rusty-"

"She's?"I cut him off, raising my eyebrows.

He ignores me, "but it was a good bargain and she runs real nice." He turns the key in the ignition, and the car starts to rumble. After a few seconds, it stops. He curses under his breath, trying again. Same thing. 4 tries later and some laughing from my side of the car, he gives up.

"Train?" I suggest.

"We'll have to take the subway," he says, sighing. Getting out of the car, I see smoke coming from the front and back.

"Wow…"

"Just come on." He sounds deflated, but honestly, that car needed to go. I'm glad I get to try out the new transportation, too.

I catch up to him and link my arm in his, and he cracks a smile. I knew he couldn't stay mad for that long. "So, where are we going?" I ask cheerily.

"The grocery store," he says, lacking emotion.

"Oh, lighten up! This'll be fun! Like and adventure!"

We arrive at the subway station a few minutes later. Tobias pays for the tickets, and we wait for one to arrive. I feel a gush of wind as it arrives, screeching to a stop in front of me. It's almost exactly like a train, but underground. People flood out quickly, going in all directions around us. I grip Tobias's hand tighter, and he squeezes back. I can't see anything, almost everyone is taller than me by a lot.

The crowd finally clears, and we board the train. I'm taken aback by the seats. It never occurred to me that now we actually get somewhere to sit. I take a seat next to the door, and Tobias slides in next to me, our hands laced together. People follow us, and I'm surprised yet again to see that I recognize them as formerly factionless. Everyone sits in a sort of awkward silence as the subway makes its way somewhere, I don't know where.

Before I know it, we're stopping. Everyone exits in a flood, and I get pushed along. We all exit as one and I find Tobias and cling to him like a leech. He shuffles away from the crowd, with me still attached to him, until we get out.

"That was…interesting," I say, quietly.

Tobias is breathing heavily, and I wonder what's wrong until I realize how trapped I felt in that crowd. How confined. His claustrophobia's acting up again. I lead him over to a bench and sit him down, and I sit next to him, saying soothing words as he calms down. "Thank…you…Tris," he says, in between breaths.

I smile, and lean against him, watching the cars and people rush by in the city. It's so different from life before…I start to wonder if I'll ever get used to it.

We burst into the apartment laughing, holding bags of food. I clutch my side and almost fall onto the couch and die of laughter. I giggle all the way into the kitchen, where I put the heavy bags down on the counter and breathe a sigh of relief.

Tobias does the same, leaning down and picking me up into his arms after and twirling me around. "Put me down!" I say. My voice lacks sincerity, and I'm laughing like a crazy person. We manage to calm down and he sets me down gently.

"I believe we have some work to do, Beatrice."

I huff. "Ok, Four, what is my assignment?"

He chuckles, his laugh low like thunder. "Well the house is already very clean, so you don't have to do that, so you can be my official kitchen assistant."

I put my hands on my hips, "You think I'd actually clean the house for you? Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean-"

He laughs, saying "I think that's the first time you've ever called yourself a woman. Finally, you've come to your senses."

I open my mouth to object, but I realize he's right. I stand there, arms crossed, feigning annoyance. "Ha-ha."

"Come on. Help me cook," he says warmly, gesturing for me to join him in the kitchen.

I roll my eyes and follow him into the kitchen, when he says, "If there was a faction for acting, you wouldn't be allowed in."

I set the last fork on the table and shout, "Done!"

Tobias emerges from the kitchen wearing an apron and carrying two plates of hamburgers. I go in and get the mashed potatoes, boxed of course, and then return again with the canned green beans. "We're all set," he says, relief coursing over his face.

I lean into him and our lips are about to brush when someone bursts through the door. By someone, I mean Zeke.

"Hello, everybody!" He says happily. He doesn't even care that he could have interrupted something…so I guess nothing has changed. Tobias rushes into the kitchen to take off his apron, and I fix my hair quickly. A second later Christina comes in, running to hug me.

"Awww, Tris, this is sooo sweet!" she glances at the table, "Ohmigosh, you guys really cooked something! How adorable!" She jumps up and down, "This is so exciting!"

We get those two seated, and the other guests trickle in. Matthew comes in quietly, the first person to actually ring the doorbell. I hug him tight, and he hugs me back. "I wanted to let you know that Nita's in jail for her crimes," he says, getting serious.

I smile weakly. "Well, that's the best we could have hoped for." I wasn't the only one abused by Nita. Matthew may not have been experimented on, but Nita yet again led him on and used him for his brains.

Robert comes in next, and I run up to him and hug him. "Tris! I didn't believe it when they said it was you…" I smile.

"Well, you see me here now, don't you?" He laughs.

Next to come in is Evelyn. Tobias answers the door to her, and the two embrace just a tad awkwardly. He says something to her quietly and gestures towards me. I wave at her, a small smile creeping up my face. Even though things haven't been…good in the past, we've all changed so much. She comes over to me and hugs me tight, and I hug her back. "Hi, Evelyn."

"Hello, my dear Tris." She smiles, "You won't even believe how much having you around has changed him. Takes a load off my shoulders." She winks, going to her seat.

Peter ambles in next, smiling and laughing the whole way. Tobias smiles and shakes his hand, and Peter nods his head at me as he passes. He seems to know everyone at the table, so I guess that's good.

I count the guests. 7. That mean's we're just waiting on Susan. I hear a knock on the door…

Tobias's POV:

I hear a knock on the door. It can only mean one thing: Susan and Caleb. Tris rushes over before I can warn her, and opens the door. She smiles widely and exclaims, "Susan!" I see her gesture for Susan to come in. My eyes bug out when I see a very, very pregnant Susan waddle into the room.

Shoot. This is bad, this is really, really bad. I see Tris open the door again, and I see her face fall. She says his name ever so quietly. "Caleb."

She reaches out the door to hug him, tears streaming down her face. Man. I messed up, she's so upset-

Then she laughs. She's laughing, he's smiling. She waves him inside, and he comes in waving at everybody. I walk over and pat him on the back, "Welcome, Caleb." I lead Tris over to the kitchen.

"Tris," I start, scratching the back of my neck, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. But I knew you wouldn't want him to come, and you'd never see him on your own, and…" I trail off, staring at her speechless.

"You think I'm mad?" she asks. I nod.

"No, no, Tobias, I'm not mad! You wouldn't know, I guess, but I forgave him. Before he was going to go in, and…I realized, when I saw him there, how much I missed him. I don't want him to leave my life like that ever again." She reaches up and kisses me, hard on the lips. "Thank you," she murmurs. "I think we have to get back to our guests."

"Are you sure? We could just stay in here…"

She gives me a look, and leads me out to the table.

Everyone is eating and smiling and laughing, and the main topic of conversation, is, of course, Tris. I can see she's getting a bit uncomfortable, so I look at Susan, changing the subject.

"So, Susan, tell us." I say, smiling broadly.

She smiles gently back. "Well, I'm 39 weeks today, that means I've only got one more to go. We're having a little boy." A chorus of "awws" erupts from around the table.

"And his name?" Christina asks.

"A secret," Caleb says, smiling and rubbing Susan's belly.

All the sudden, Susan's eyes go wide. She lets out a sound of what seems to be pain. Caleb turns to her quickly, "Are you alright?"

She lets out a quiet moan, before saying "I think I'm in labor."

Robert, Tris, and I all pace anxiously in the waiting room of the hospital. We rushed Susan here quickly, and Christina said she could keep the other guests under control at my place. I can only hope she's right.

We sit for what seems like hours until a nurse finally comes out, carrying a clipboard. "Are you guys here for Susan Black?"

We nod vigorously. Robert stands, "What's wrong?" He looks urgent.

The nurse chuckles. "Nothing's wrong, sir. She's had the baby. If you'd all like to go and see her, I suggest you stay quiet and calm. Now, please follow me.

Tris grabs hold of my hand, and whispers in my ear, "Tobias, I'm an aunt!"

I smile, squeezing her hand quickly, "I know!"

She practically runs down the hallway, dragging me behind her. We finally reach Susan's room and we all burst in, Robert first, and me last.

Robert runs over to Caleb, who's holding the baby. Caleb smiles, and hands him over. Tris stands on her toes to try to get a good look at the baby. I can see already he's very cute, he looks just like his parents. I lift Tris up a bit so she can see, and she practically squeals "Susan, he's beautiful! What's his name?"

Susan, who's laying quietly on the hospital bed looking exhausted, replies, "Andrew. Andre for short." Tris breaks into a huge smile.

"Can I hold him?" she asks Robert. He smiles and passes Andre to Tris. She cradles him in her arms gently, and I step up behind her, holding her arms so we're both holding the baby. "Hi, Andre! This is your Auntie Tris talking. We love you so much baby boy! I think I love you the most…" she says in a sing song voice.

As we're standing there, Tris rocking the baby slowly and me holding them both tightly, I feel something shift inside me. Looking down at Andre I feel a sudden wanting, a wish he was mine, that we had a baby of our own. Tris seems so good at holding him, he's content in her arms.

She walks over and hands him back to Susan, and I grab her arm gently and pull her to the corner of the room. Nobody else notices, they're all too busy cooing over Andre and Susan. She looks at me quizzically. "Tris, I just realized something." I say nervously. How is she going to react?

"And that would be….?" She gestures for me to continue.

I put my hands on her shoulders, sliding them down her arms to her hands. I squeeze them lightly, "When you were holding Andre, I realized…I thought…well, I hoped," I pause, gauging her reaction. She's looking up at me hopefully, and I take it as a good sign. "I…I want to have kids with you, Tris. I want us to have a baby, too."

She looks at me for a few seconds, then pulls me into an embrace. She whispers in my ear, "I was thinking the same thing."


	9. Chapter 9

Tobias's POV:

Today was the most stressful day. Long story short, I thought I would be getting a promotion or raise at the office, but I'm quickly learning that the world of politics is everything but predictable. Today is also a holiday, well, we consider it to be one. It's the day when Dauntless initiation would have been completed, so it's been exactly 3 years since the war.

I shudder as an image fills my mind: The beeping and whirring of machines around me, I stand too quickly as a blonde-haired enemy rushes in. "Drop your weapon," I say, my voice all too calculated.

She utters something about the name "Tobias," and a bell starts going off dimly in my mind.

"Drop your weapon, or I'll fire." She sets something down at her feet. "Drop your weapon!" My voice comes out louder this time, less controlled.

"I did," she says meekly. Before I know it, she's charging at me. Fast little girl. I pull the trigger a bit too sloppily, she avoids it by a fraction of an inch. We twist and tumble, fighting, each of us struggling for dominance. A voice enters my head, What's wrong with you? Can't you beat this girl? This little girl? I can.

She stops struggling and stares into my eyes for a minute. I find myself unable to move, or look away. "Tobias," she says quietly. My hands flinch. What is it about that name? Why does she keep calling me that? The ringing in my head intensifies.

I'm too shocked to notice that she's got me held at gunpoint, a bruise already forming in my shin. "Tobias, I know you're in there." Louder bells. So loud.

She pleads and pleads with me, mentioning that name more and more. I stand quickly. Tears stream openly on her face. I feel cool, hard metal slammed into my hand. She's given me the gun. I waste no time in putting it against her forehead, and clicking the bullet into place. One, two-

"Tobias, it's me." I find myself being hugged, and it all comes back.

"Tris," I whisper. Our lips lock.

I shake the memory. I force myself to remember the good things that day brought. Tris becoming a member, though, now that I think about it, that didn't bring much good either. Tris and I in my room…nope, that wasn't pleasant either, at least not until the end. Tris and I going public…now that, was a good one.

I feel strong hands on my shoulders, and I smell the sweet perfume of the one I love. Her breath tickles my ear, "How was work?" It's like she can sense it wasn't good, because in one swift leap she's over the couch and on my lap, rubbing my cheek. "What happened?"

I sigh. "No promotion or raise, and a new campaign. Due tomorrow." I bring my eyes to hers, and they immediately take away all the bad feelings. I move in closer to steal a kiss.

"Ah-ah-ahh," Tris chides, slipping out of my arms and sliding off the couch. "We have a celebration dinner to go to, remember?" She raises her eyebrows accusingly.

Another sigh. "Right. Well, I'm dressed. Are you?" She seems to anticipate my question because she takes off her sweatshirt to reveal a little black dress with a cutout in the front. My jaw must actually drop, because she laughs her little tinkling laugh and slips her coat on, beckoning me forward.

Tris's POV:

We arrive at the restaurant right on time. When we enter, I can already see Christina, Zeke, Matthew, Caleb, and Susan and Andre. Everyone's all dressed up, and I can see that they've already ordered the appetizers.

I take Tobias's hand and we walk over quickly, taking the last two seats next to each other. Everyone says their hellos, and we dig right in to the chips and dip. Tonight's apparently some big football game, a sport I've never heard of before and am not very keen on. Tobias and Zeke keep their eyes trained on the one big TV over the bar showing the game.

I lift a hand up to rub my eye. When I lift it away, it's covered in black. Shoot. I always do that. I tap Tobias, "I'll be right back. Going to the bathroom." He nods slightly, not lifting his eyes from the screen. I sigh, and pick up my purse and head over.

I start re-applying and fixing my eyeliner when I hear odd noises from one of the stalls. Rustling, banging, clanking. I shift my eyes down in the mirror but I don't see any feet. Strange.

Keeping one eye shut to do my makeup, I don't even see anyone come up behind me. I feel a cold hand touch my bare shoulder, and I jerk my arm, creating a huge streak of eyeliner across my nose.

"Hey-" I begin to shout, but my mouth is quickly gagged. I squirm and struggle but my hands are clasped tightly behind my back and are quickly tied. I'm stuck facing away from my attackers, so I try to jut my feet back to hit them, but whoever they are they're pretty good at defense.

Screaming doesn't work, and the reality of what's happening settles in on me. OH MY GOD! I'm being kidnapped! How can I get help, please, please, someone come into the bathroom!

My wish is granted. Though, it's not at all who I suspect.

Matthew.


	10. Chapter 10

Tris's POV:

Matthew ignores me completely, striding over to my attackers. I'm going to be saved. But he starts furiously whispering with whoever it is and I can only catch snippets of their heated conversation.

"I told you…up and get her….here!" Matthew starts. I try to struggle but I'm met with a kick to the back. I start to wheeze, hard, and struggle to regain my hearing to listen in.

"Tried…of hers, Tobias…only just went….you came here." Another voice, more rough and lower than Matthew's says back.

"Will you two just….get her out of here….hurry!" That voice sounds so familiar. Soft and soothing yet harsh, and very feminine. So that's a man and a woman. I struggle to put the voice to a person, when I realize who it is. The person I spent the last 2 years trying to escape. The person who was supposedly tried and convicted and locked away somewhere far. The voice belongs to Nita.

Tobias's POV:

Tris has been in the bathroom for a while now. I hope she's feeling okay. She was sick earlier this morning. I tried to convince her not to go to this but she insisted. She was excited for a holiday we actually knew, not like these new ones Matthew tried to get us to celebrate, like "Christmas" and "Halloween."

I look around for Matthew, but he's nowhere to be seen. I guess he left to use the restroom too. I start getting anxious, my leg jiggling like I'm a high school boy with ADHD. I finally give in to my fears, "Christina, can you please go check on Tris in the bathroom? She's been in there for 15 minutes and…I," I trail off, suddenly embarrassed by how protective I am over her and how afraid I am.

Christina gives me a sympathetic smile and an eyebrow raise. "Alright, but I'm sure she's fine. If it'll soothe your nerves," she says, winking. She rises from her chair and wanders off to the bathrooms.

The waiter comes over and asks what we'd like. All of the sudden he's asking me, and I haven't even thought about it. "Uhm…I…" I stutter. I quickly look down at the menu, looking at the big picture of a sandwich on the front. "I'll have a," I pause to read, "A Philly cheese steak please." He nods, scribbling down something on his pad. He says something about when our food will come out but I'm not feeling very hungry anymore.

A frantic Christina comes bounding around the corner, almost bumping into a waitress with a tray of wines. She lets out a breathless and half-hearted apology and rushes over. "Tobias," she says. "Come. Now!"

I waste no time in shooting from my chair and half walking half running to the bathroom, Christina trailing behind. I push open the door to the women's room, not thinking twice about it. When I step in I see a pink, frilly bathroom with nice smelling soaps and soft music playing. I never knew what women's restrooms looked like.

I stop when I find the sink, terror filling my heart. Tris is nowhere to be seen, but her sexy little black dress is strewn across the floor, and what looks like a blood trail leading to the window. I turn around to Christina who's rushing towards the window. I hurry and give her a boost up, and she pounds it open using the soap dispenser. The glass shatters with an ear-splitting sound, but I don't hear it. I'm leaping out the window after her, calling Tris's name and running blindly into the dark night.

Christina yells for me to stop, and I turn around quickly wondering why she would want me to stop looking for her. She beckons for me to come over fast. I rush over in a blur, and I kneel on the ground next to her. I'm about to speak when she points to the ground. I kneel closer, squinting at what she's seeing. It's an earring. Something clicks inside me. It's not just any earring. It's Tris's earring, the one she was wearing tonight. I look up at Christina, trying to formulate a plan. Her dark eyes meet mine and I see tears threatening to break loose. I pull her into a sloppy hug, and she starts sobbing on my shoulder. We became close friends when Tris wasn't around, and I promised to always be there for her like she promised for me when I was about to take the memory serum to forget. I owe her my life.

"Tobias, we need to call…the police," she says in between sobs. As much as I need to find Tris right now, she's right. I whip my phone out of my pocket, dialing "9-1-1" which, as I've learned in this new society, is the emergency hotline.

Someone picks up almost immediately, "Hello?" It's a woman's voice.

"Hello! I need help my girlfriend has gone missing at a restaurant on the corner of Main and Crown streets."

"Okay sir, I'm going to connect you to the local police department. Please stay calm and stay put." I hear a click , and a buzzing sound letting me know I'm still on. In a matter of seconds I'm with the police.

"Hello, sir. We're on our way to your location. I need you to tell me everything you know." The voice sounds so calm, and slow, how can you be calm when my Tris has gone missing?

"WewereinarestauranttocelebratesomethingandTriswenttothebathroomandshedidntcomebacksoIwentofindherandherdresswasontehfloorandbloodtothewindowandIlefttotrytofindherandherearringisonthegroundafewfeetawaythat'salliknow," I finish, gasping for air.

"Okay, thank you sir. May I ask your name?" I'm surprised he understood me, but I guess it's what he's used to.

"Tobias Eaton."

"Thank you, Tobias, we're on our way. I'll stay with you, if you like."

"Please, thank you," I say.

He talks to me about Tris, asking information about her for another 10 minutes and I'm worrying it might be too late when I finally hear sirens in the distance.

Tris's POV:

I open my eyes to darkness. I try to thrash around but I'm in a tight space. My hands are tied and my feet are bound. There's something covering my mouth and eyes, with a space for my nose. I still to listen but I don't hear anything. Suddenly a jolt rocks through wherever I am, and I hear an engine starting.

I feel the vehicle start to move, and I feel rough road beneath me. I'm assuming I'm in a car because of how bumpy it is, and the sound of the motor. I haven't heard many cars but since I've been back in Chicago I know this is what one sounds like. The car speeds forward, rolling me until I slam into something hard. I feel it on my bare arms, cold and smooth. Metal. I feel a draft working its way into my space, and I realize I'm in different clothes. The thought terrifies me and infuriates me at the same time. They took off my clothes, Nita, Matthew, and whoever else is helping them. I'm in what feels like a rough onesie, with no sleeves.

A wave of pain courses through me as I'm tossed to another side as the car slams to a stop. Then it hits me. Matthew kidnapped me. Matthew. I thought he was my friend. He helped me escape, and he got Nita in court, and he suddenly decides he wants to give me back? My mind stops wandering when I hit the side again and everything goes black.

I wake to harsh voices and cold instruments prodding my body. My eyes snap open, and blink shut again. I'm surrounded by blinding lights, and when I try to move my limbs feel like jello. I open my eyes again timidly, and start to focus on what I'm seeing.

There are several people leaning over me, wearing lab coats and goggles. They hold tools in their hands, each a different one. Different kinds of what looks to be scanners. I hear faint beeping and the people, I'm assuming doctors or scientists, back away. "She's awake," a female voice says quickly. She speaks with a strange accent, bringing out the vowels in an odd way.

"Good, I thought she'd never wake up after being jolted around in that car," a male voice says. He speaks oddly too, pronouncing 'car' like 'ca.'

I hear footsteps, clicking like my teachers' in school clicked down the hall. Click, clack, click, clack. They slowly come closer and stop.

I find myself staring straight into Nita's dark eyes. I shut my eyes quickly, hoping they won't realize I'm actually awake and take me somewhere away from here, anywhere but here.

I feel her lean in closer, the tip of her nose only centimeters from mine. "I know you're awake, honey, it won't do any good to try and fake it," her voice drips with false sweetness, sounding pretentious and dignified. I feel the heat from her back away, and I allow myself to breathe again.

"Take her to Cell 26," she says briskly, a commanding tone filling her words, "I don't need her until tomorrow." I feel myself being hoisted up off my current resting place and being hastily thrown onto another one. I recognize it as a gurney. Once, when I was little, I was playing out in the front yard with Caleb. We found what looked to be a ball for playing in our yard, slightly deflated but still any child's dream. We went into the backyard, hidden from the eyes of prying neighbors, to play and indulge in the utmost act of selfishness. It was the most fun, until I tripped over the ball trying to get it away from Caleb, and I sprained my ankle. As my gurney is wheeled down the hallway, I recall more of the memory. I cried out loudly, pain radiating from my left ankle. I screamed and fell to the ground, clutching it for dear life. Caleb ran inside quickly, getting my mother. A look of disapproval crossed her face for a mere second when she saw the ball, but it quickly changed to a frightened and sympathetic gaze and a hurried run over to me. She scooped me up into her arms, catching my tears and cooing soothing words. She rushed me to the hospital, where I was met with a gurney and wheeled in. I ended up getting my ankle wrapped, it wasn't serious.

I almost smile from the memory, but I'm brought to a stop. I hear a door being opened and keys jingling, and I'm roughly picked up and literally thrown into the room. I cry out in pain, but the man dressed in black who brought me here, with big muscles and a buzz cut, says nothing, locking the door behind me. I manage to stumble to my feet, and look around my room.

It's a pristine white, with a toilet, bed, and a small chest in the corner. I clumsily make my way over to the single bed, and plop down, defeated. The sheets are rough and itchy, and I look down at my outfit. I'm wearing a hospital gown now, little blue diamonds covering it. My back is completely exposed. I turn to see clothes hanging up on the wall. A formfitting white shirt and black leggings. I think I'm in Candor for a few seconds, but then I remember that Candor doesn't exist anymore.

I get changed and sit down on the bed, stiff as a board. I hear a clanking noise towards the door, and rush over to see what's going on. A tray of food is pushed through a tiny opening at the bottom, and I bend down to collect it. Bread, peas, and chicken. They must be seriously trying to get to me. I won't let that happen.

I try my best, but the memories of my mother come flooding back with the traditional Abnegation food. And my father, and Will, and Uriah, Marlene, Lynn, Al, and Tori, and everyone else I've lost. I break down in tears, crumpling on the floor, setting the food down sloppily next to me.

My vomit in the toilet is a stark contrast to the pristine white of my cell. I retch and heave, my whole body shaking as I throw up my only meal. I gag until my stomach is literally empty, and I sink to the floor shaking and sweating. I taste bile in my mouth, only a cause for me to start throwing up more.

I throw up again and again, and when it finally stops I cautiously make my way over to my bed, slip under the sheets, and close my eyes. I feel a wave of nausea, so I sit up again, heat coursing through me. I push the sheets off and stand up, becoming very dizzy. I sit back down again, breathing heavily.

I start to think about what they could have possibly put in that food to make me this sick but then I remember that I threw up yesterday, and the day before that. I was feeling very sick the day of the dinner but I really wanted to go, so I popped in a couple of tums and hoped for the best. I hope if I'm sick they would give me something, not leave me here to die of malnutrition. I get my answer when a plate comes through the door, with a tiny white pill on it. I swallow, and think nothing of it, until I feel extremely tired and collapse on the bed, sounds fading away and my skin tingling and going numb.

Tobias's POV:

It's been a day. And we still haven't found her.

The officers say it's hard to track her because she isn't registered as a citizen of Chicago, because she only recently arrived. According to them, she doesn't exist, and she never did. They couldn't trace her because the dogs lost her scent in an alley a few streets up, where there were water stains, suggesting she had water dumped on her head to rid her of her scent for a little while.

Currently, they're putting out notices in the city and contacting just about everyone she knew, but I'm starting to think the worst. She isn't even in the city. And I have a sinking feeling I'm right.

Today I have a meeting with an officer from the local police department to try and find our next steps towards finding her. I walk into the office, wearing a nice shirt and dress pants, my hair cleanly combed. The officer sits at a desk, wearing a police uniform with the badge and hat and everything. I've been talking to a lot of police officers in the last 24 hours, so it's nothing special.

" . Take a seat." He gestures towards the chair directly in front of him. I sit.

"My name is Officer Harley and I'm in charge of Beatrice Prior's case. I'm going to talk to you about the possible steps we can take to locate Miss Prior, and we have uncovered evidence of a suspect I'd like to discuss."

I nod, letting him begin. "First, we've found a possible suspect other than Mr. Matthew." He rummages in a pile of papers to the side, pulling out a clipping from a newspaper. He turns to his desk, rummages some more in a drawer, and pulls out what looks to be an official report. He hands them both to me, "We have received word that Miss Juanita has escaped confinement, about a week ago. She was being held in a secret location, but I assure you it was far from Chicago. She managed to escape on last Saturday morning, and she left no traces for us to go by. You've told me that Miss Prior knows Juanita very well, and that in fact she was in prison for kidnapping Miss Prior and keeping her captive for over 2 years. Is this all correct?"

I nod, my body going numb. The newspaper article, entitled 'PRISONER CONVICTED OF KIDNAPPING ESCAPES SOLITARY CONFINEMENT' covers Nita's life in low detail, and speaks about how she took Tris and what she did to her. It shakes me to the core. Even Tris didn't tell me about some of this stuff. The other official document, refers to Nita in legal terms, as 'Prisoner 446' and speaks about her crimes in an unbiased and unfeeling way. They both line up perfectly to what Officer Harley is telling me.

"So, plan of action. Searching Chicago isn't done yet, but from my professional opinion, if we're dealing with Juanita, she wouldn't have kept her in the city. In 24 hours, Miss Prior could be anywhere on the continent," at my confused expression at the word, everything about this big world is still so new, he revises his words, "The United States. She could be anywhere in the former US."

I feel my heart sink. I know how big that is, bigger than I ever imagined. "We'll have to narrow down the possibilities, but she could be in Indianapolis, although, most likely not because Miss Juanita has a history there and wouldn't take her somewhere so obvious." He takes out a piece of paper, scribbling down a list. "She could be in any of these five cities," he begins to write down and describe foreign places, to me at least. "New York, that's a big one. Boston, lots of labs and scientists there. Houston, down in the south, lots of people so a big cover up. Seattle, in the west, there are many labs there too. And Los Angeles." He finishes writing, and sets the paper down, folding his hands. "She is most likely in one of those cities. We'll start with New York and Los Angeles. There is the possibility she's somewhere in between, but I assure you, Nita's looking to experiment on her again. No doubts about it. She definitely went somewhere far, but not too far, because even her connections have limits."

I nod numbly again. "Don't worry, son. We'll find her."

I hope they do. God, I hope they do.


	11. Chapter 11

Tobias's POV:

I reach over to pick my phone up off the table. I unlock it, registering the date in the back of my mind. March 14. Exactly 3 weeks since Tris was kidnapped. I check my twitter and facebook quickly, not really paying attention to anything on the screen, just going through the motions. I check my voicemail. Empty. I check my texts. None. I click my phone off and wander into the kitchen, searching for something to eat.

I scratch at the back of my neck as I pull open the fridge. It's bare, the clean shelves and bright light makes it seem like I just bought it minutes ago. Turning to the pantry, I find that it too, is completely void. My life without Tris is, literally, empty. My mind swarms with memories of my life before Tris came back, the times I'd banished from my thoughts. I'd sit on the couch all day, only getting up to work out and use the bathroom. I lost a ton of weight, only bothering to go grocery shopping once a month, if even.

I shuffle into my room, and slowly change out of my sweatpants and throw on some jeans and a white shirt. I walk over to the mirror, glancing at my reflection briefly, trying to comb a hand through my tangled hair that is long overdue for a cut. I gaze outside the window, looking at the bleak March city. The skyscrapers in the distance jut out from all the little apartment buildings where I live, contrasting greatly against the white-gray sky. Frost covers the ground, and few pedestrians roam the streets bundled up in gray and black scarves, coats, and mittens. The world has been sucked of color, the browns, yellows, and greens of Chicago being replaced with drab neutrals. The whole city has gone Abnegation. Or maybe it's just me.

I have a meeting with Officer Harley, today. I have regular meetings with him every week, because someone thought it right to appoint me to being the non-police officer in charge of the case. I throw on my shoes, which are black, and grab my coat, which is gray, off the coat hanger. Shoving my phone in my pocket, I slowly make my way over to the Chicago Police Department offices.

Parking my charcoal gray car, which I got fixed a few days ago, much to my expense, I head over to office 12B, on the third level, east wing, of the officer's branch. I find his door without trouble, marching into the department, stone walls and the occasional potted plant, taking the glass elevator on the exterior. I walk in without knocking, I know he's expecting me. He smiles curtly and gestures grandly to the measly chair that has become my home away from home.

Brushing through his western style mustache with his hands, he begins to go over what they've found out this week. By listening to the first few sentences, I know they haven't made any progress. The sliver of hope that was stored inside me is deflated, shrinking into the sea of despair that crashes and rages against my body. Officer Harley must notice my demeanor, because he stops stroking his chestnut facial hair and speaks up, harshly. "Boy. Tobias, you need to listen to me. Eyes on me, ya hear?" I flick my eyes up to his, locking them there. "Good. Keep 'em there, okay?" I stand perfectly still, my breathing calm and controlled, completely even. "You need to get out of this, this funk you're in. I noticed it last week, but this week it's gotten even worse. I'm gonna tell ya straight: We haven't found anything new. Not-a-thing. We're just where we were three weeks ago, meaning we haven't a damn clue to whereabouts that Nita lady took your Tris.

"If we're gonna find her sometime in the next year, boy, you're gonna need to step up! You were appointed head of this investigation outside of the police department because you can help, boy. You need to help. You knew Juanita, you knew her well. Heck, you were her accomplice! You've got the inside dish, the scoop on the way her mind works. Listen good, . You're gonna help us right now, here, today, in this office. You're not leaving until you give us every single damn thing you know about Miss Juanita, am I clear? This is a police order, , and unless you want to be in jail, I suggest you cooperate!" He stood up in the middle of the montage, raising his voice and his hands, staring me rock-hard in the eye. He sits back down, exasperated, audibly sighing three times in a row. He looks at me again, his eyes softer.

"I'm sorry, Tobias. I didn't mean to explode like that. It's just, we need progress on this. Now. And I need your help, son, you're her only shot. Listen good, one last thing." He quiets his voice, eyes softening to the point where I think they might just melt out and lay on the ground in a puddle of happiness. Wonderful. "She's not dead this time, Tobias. She's most certainly alive, and we can get her back. You have to do it. She escaped last time on her own, but I tell you this: There's no way she's doing it again." He relaxes into his chair, leaving the silence of the room to engulf me.

I pay attention to the whir of the heater, the rushing of cars outside behind us, and the tapping of feet in the hallway to the left. I look around, scanning the gray walls and the faded green of his plant. God damn it, Tobias! A voice explodes inside my head. I realize it's my own. Get the fuck out of it, did you even listen to him? He said she won't get out without you, damn it! Get out of your stupid little depression and get your girlfriend out! It's your fault she's been there for a month! YOUR. FAULT.

The world comes into focus, the walls turning a creamy yellow, his plant turning a vibrant green. I blink away the fog that's been present in my mind ever since she was taken, and I feel my limbs come back to life, intense feelings tingling throughout them. I look the officer in the eye, and speak what I think is the longest thing I've ever said to him: "I'm sorry."

Officer Harley and I spend the rest of the afternoon, and well into the evening, discussing Nita and her possible plans and motives. I left at about 7:30, stopping at the store to pick up some necessities for my apartment, and head home. I feel the pang of hunger eat away at my stomach for the first time in weeks, and I eat a hearty meal of chicken and rice, and go to bed a few minutes later, this time, dreaming about my escape plan for Tris, instead of pained visions of us together. I feel a smile curl over my lips, and I let out the breath I've been holding for a month.

I'm coming for you, Tris. And I'm going to get you out.

Tris's POV:

"Can you please tell me the date?" I ask, syrupy-sweet, to who I've learned to call Trent, my guard. He was the other man who kidnapped me. If I wasn't feeling so sick, he'd be out cold on the floor for sure.

Seeing as Nita isn't as smart as Jeanine, unlike the time I was captive in Erudite Nita answers all of my questions without hesitation, and so do her lackeys, Trent and Matthew. "March 15," Trent replies in his deep, gruff voice.

I smile and say, "Thank you," my voice higher and more girly than usual. But it's taking all I can do not to break down into tears. I've been sick for about 3 and a half weeks now, if I'm correct. I don't know the exact date I was kidnapped, but I know enough to realize that I should've gotten my period by now. But I haven't.

I may not be Erudite smart all of the time, but I'm bright enough to put two and two together. Throwing up, tiredness, and missed period. I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant.

I tried to convince myself otherwise at first, when I was alone for the first week. I throw up every day, once if not twice, and I'm always fatigued. The period was the last step. I'm almost positive, now, that I am pregnant.

I'm snapped out of my train of thought by the feel of Trent's monster-sized hands on my back, pushing me along through the dimly lit corridors that remind me of something you'd find in a labyrinth. I'm pushed and pulled and turned left and right until we arrive at my testing room. It's a wide room, white like everything here, and it contains various instruments and machines mostly devoted to testing the brain. Today I'm having my physical, to make sure I'm healthy.

Terror courses through me, replacing my blood, as I realize what this means. If I am pregnant, like I think I am, what will they do to the baby? What will they do to me? I'm going to have to make a conscious try to hide it from them, maybe avoiding questions? No, that won't work. They've been monitoring everything about me, my vomiting, fatigue, and they'll even know I haven't been on my period.

Trent pushes me forward one last time and I stumble on the spotless white tiles, and suddenly I'm caught, my face laying centimeters away from the floor. I twist around to look at who saved me, and I feel disgust dripping from his very soul. Matthew. I mutter a quick and unfeeling thank you, ripping myself away from his grasp. Where his hands were on me I feel cold, like someone took ice and pressed it as hard as they could on certain parts of my skin.

I quickly walk over to the exam chair in the middle of the room, with various machines around it. It's like a mini doctor's office, surrounded by people in white lab coats with their hair pulled up in tight buns. They welcome me into their little circle, seating me down and putting me into a gown quickly. My nervousness about being nude in front of people has completely dissipated, because every morning they watch me change, and they've seen me naked in many a test. I'm wondering where my captor is, when I hear her imperial voice commanding Trent to get one of the other "subjects." I'm subject number 1, and from what I can gather there are as many as 20 of us Divergents locked up here, but I've never seen anyone else but my scientists, Nita, Matthew, and Trent.

The doctors start each working on a separate part of my body, one doing my reflexes at my knees by tapping with the little hammer, one shining lights into my eyes, ears, nose and mouth, one checking my temperature, and one feeling my organs. It's very overwhelming, and I'm relaxed when it was over. They're pretty efficient here, so it only took about 5 seconds and then they all scattered, recording their results. Then they start asking questions.

A woman with tan skin and dark black hair comes up to me with a clipboard, pulling up a spinny office chair. She begins by asking me simple questions about my health, stupid ones, really, like 'How are you feeling' and 'Are you sleeping/eating/using the bathroom well and regularly?'

She takes down my answers with little nods, scribbling fastly on her chart. She rushes off to report to Nita, and another woman fills her place at the seat. This lady is the outright opposite of the first. She's sheet pale, and her hair is as light as blond can be. She asks more in-depth questions, and it doesn't take a scientist to figure what she's getting at. My heart speeds up, all the while dropping in my chest as I realize there's no way for me to hide from them what they already know.

"Were you sexually active about a month ago?" She asks, her voice high pitched and commanding.

"Why does this matter?" I say, feigning boredom.

"Just answer the question please," she says louder, a hint of annoyance underlying her faux-sweet tone.

I mumble, barely audible. "Yes."

She nods, hearing me perfectly. "Were you actively using protection, such as birth control or cond-"

I cut her off, snapping at her, "I know what protection is. And…no, I wasn't using any."

"Were you trying to get pregnant?"

"Not really."

She makes a clicking noise with her tongue, her annoyance growing. "I need a yes or a no answer."

"I don't know!" I say honestly. Tobias and I had talked about it, sure, but I wanted kids in a few years, after we were married. We only had sex without protection twice, both times we weren't completely sober, to say the least, but I guess that was enough to get me pregnant.

She sighs loudly, cocking one eyebrow, and opens her mouth to speak. She seems to think twice about it, shutting her mouth and opening it again, "That is all. Thank you," She says curtly, getting up and leaving.

The woman from earlier comes up to me, smiling. She holds a little stick like device in her hands, and gives it to me. I realize with a sickening wave of dizziness what it is. A pregnancy test. Her smile brightens, when she sees my reaction. I'm not really sure why. "I'm going to need you to take this. Come."

She takes my arm and gently leads me to the bathroom, which has a door adjoining to my test room. She stops at the door. "You just need to pee-"

Again, I cut her off, "I know how to use it, thank you." My voice sounds cold and foreboding, and the woman's smile diminishes and she backs away. Do these people think I'm dumb? They know I had an aptitude for Erudite!

I go into one of the stalls, my hands shaking. I don't know if theres a way to trick them, if I don't take the test they'll know. I need to pour something on it to make it negative. I walk over to the sink, running warm water over the test. I walk out of the bathroom quickly, pretending to be embarrassed, and hand the test to one of the staff. She smiles sympathetically, leading me to the chair again. I sit, waiting the result which I know will be negative.

The woman with dark skin approaches me again, a test in hand. But this time she isn't smiling. She shoves it in my hands, gesturing towards the bathroom. "This time, actually take it, Beatrice."

I feel my heart sink even lower. I sulk over to the bathroom, pee on the stick, and wait for the result. I should be the first one to know, right?

I walk over to the sink, where I set it down, to check it. It's positive.


	12. Chapter 12

Tris's POV:

"So the question is, my esteemed colleagues, how exactly do Divergents benefit us in the present world?" Nita droned on and on about Divergence and their uses in the 'pre-revolution world' as she liked to call it, while standing on a podium facing a crowd of I'd say 100 scientists or more. I sit boredly in the back, behind the white curtains, only vaguely paying attention.

"We know that Divergents are resistant to the 'serums' of the past world, yes, but what does that mean? What does that mean for us today? The Divergents are of the GP category, all of which I know you know very well. They are healed, unlike all other humans, which we categorize as GDs," her sweet coating begins to melt away as she talks about the difference between those pure and those who are unpure. "Their brains are different from ours, vastly different in ways that we have only just begun to scrape the surface of. With that, I'd like to call up Doctor Lynn Reeds." Nita finishes with a proud sigh, and backs off the podium, clapping loudly, but politely, for this Doctor Reeds. I see the same tan-skinned-dark-haired woman who talked to me during my physical walk up to the podium.

She smiles brightly, and begins to talk away about my brain and such. I don't understand one word. I feel someone pulling on my arm, and I see Trent beckoning me forward. Time for me to go out on stage. Trent pulls me around the curtain roughly, yanking my arm so hard it may very well fall out of its socket. At first, all I can see is bright lights, and I squint hard, so I can barely see. Trent tugs me along harder, and pulls me into a little plastic chair right next to Doctor Reeds. My eyes adjust in a few seconds, and looking out into the crowd, I can't really make out details but I see many faces. Not a single one looks bored; yet they all look enthralled at whatever Nita and Reeds have to tell them. Their attention shifts from me to the screen behind me, and I feel pressure lifted off my shoulders. I hate attention, and the only other time that compares to this is the Choosing Ceremony. But the audience wasn't strange scientists, but it was my mother, father, brother, friends, and peers. I was a different kind of prisoner.

It seems like days but a few minutes later Doctor Reeds finally finishes with a bow, and steps off stage. The stage lights dim, and the lights in the audience brighten, allowing everyone to exit quickly. This was the second event like this I've been to, and this one was far bigger than the last. Nita's doing an awful lot of publicity for me. I can only hope it gives Tobias what he needs to find me.

A single tear falls out of my left eye, landing on my swollen four-months belly. I rub it quietly, eyes burning. "Daddy will find us, I promise." I whisper, praying with all I've got that its true.

Tobias's POV:

"We've gotten a hold on something that happened this afternoon in Boston," Officer Harley starts, "It seems that there was a big, science expo thing at a laboratory downtown. From what we've gathered, it was an organization made for further studying the human brain and how it determines personality. Now, we're not sure of anything, yet, but to me that sounds an awful lot like Nita."

I chew on the inside of my cheek, processing this information. Zeke looks over at me expectantly. I brought him along to see what he thought of this, who knows, maybe he can stop missing cake and start thinking about how to rescue Tris. "That sounds promising, but how are we going to get there? And how will you find more about it?"

"Well, it seems as if this little group is 'on tour,' and we've bought tickets to their next 'show' in New York," Harley sounds disgusted at the idea. So am I. Stealing my Tris, experimenting on her, then parading her around like she's some kind of scientific anomaly? "We bought two tickets for it, son, and it's next week."

"So, am I going?" I hope, please, please, let me go and get her.

"Of course. You and I will be getting tickets for the show, and I'll bring my team so we can get 'em afterwards. This should work out great. Now, you go and enjoy your time while I plan our trip. Meet me here, on Friday, so we can catch our flight. You don't need to pack anything."

My brain stopped processing at the word 'flight.' Fly? I have to fly? A strangled noise comes from deep in my throat. "Uh, do we have to, uh, you know, fly?" My palms start sweating thinking about it, my heart racing, my breathing become ragged.

I feel someone shaking my shoulder. Zeke. I hear him say distantly, "He's got a wicked fear of heights. And I mean wicked. It's so bad, he even got an apartment near the ground so he wouldn't be-"

"It's fine," I say loudly, "I'll do it."

"Only if you're sure, son, you don't have to go." Officer Harley has a look of sympathy etched into his features.

"No, I have to go." For her. I have to rescue her. Not the police. I have to be there, to kiss her, hug her, feel her with me again. No way am I letting anyone else do that, even if it means I have to get on a plane.

"Well ok. If you're positive."

We pull up to the airport, and its unlike what I ever expected. Of course, I'd seen the Bureau, but that was a smaller, unused airport. There are chipped and faded letters on top that read "O'Hare International." There are huge runways in the back, and a big parking lot in the front. The side is all windows, and through them I can see stores and shops, mostly touristy stuff. They're 'old world' shops, as Harley tells me.

The guards open the door for us, and I nod my head in thanks and head inside. They've already pulled up one of the smaller planes to the boarding platform, I think that's what it's called. I'm still debating whether it's safer to ride in a big plane or a small one. I guess it doesn't matter, I really don't get the choice. Harley ushers me forward, and I quicken my pace to follow him. We reach the boarding area, and he punches a code into the door and they slide open, letting in a ton of cold air. Goosebumps pop up on my skin, even though I'm wearing, like, 3 jackets. I wasn't sure what the environment of the plane would be, so I decided better to be prepared than unprepared.

I cautiously walk into the tube-like hallway leading to the plane. It's colder in here, and the faded yellow walls pulse. I almost trip multiple times on the uneven rubber walkway, and train my eyes on the floor rather than my increasing distance from the ground as the walkway slopes up.

We reach the plane door, and inscripted in tiny red and blue letters is the name, I'm assuming, "Southwest." Harley explains that it was one of the big plane companies in the old world. It astonishes me that people actually rode these flying metal death traps, for fun. Well, Harley says it was for travel, but I'd take a train in a heartbeat. But if this is going to get me to my Tris I can put my reservations aside.

The door opens swiftly, and I follow Harley in, and the guards follow me. There is a main aisle, with stained blue carpet, and 3 rows of blindingly blue seats on either side. I pick a seat in the middle, and Harley and his officers sit up front, leaving me by myself. I roll up the little plastic window cover, and look outside the frosty window. I almost vomit, seeing that I am already too high up and the plane hasn't even taken off yet.

The loudspeaker crackles to life, startling me, and the pilot begins to speak, "Gentlemen, please strap up your seatbelts. You need to keep them on until we reach full altitude, then I will notify you when you may move around freely. We should arrive in New York International in about 2 hours. Enjoy your flight."

I hear a big whirring as the plane's engines turn on, and I clutch the side of the seat with so much force the fabric rips off. I try to fix it, but it flaps away to the floor, dust flying in its wake. How old is this plane, really, that even the fabric on the seats is coming off. But, even if I really wanted to leave, the plane door was shut, and all the sudden we were moving.

It started slow, and gradually increased, until we were going down the runway full speed. I peeled my eyes from the window to look at Harley and his men. They seemed unaffected, laughing and talking and sitting all the same. I, on the other hand, was grasping the bottom of the plane seat with one hand and the cheap-o barf bag with the other.

I can't see anything outside the window in focus, it's all speeding by, the flat plain, the airport, the cracked pavement. I feel a sharp pop in my ears, and the plane starts to incline. I bring the bag up to my face quickly, very close to vomiting, when the plane is no longer touching the ground. The bag expands and deflates at a rapid pace.

I look outside the window, and the world starts spinning. I no longer see individual trees, or buildings, but now everything is clumped together as green and gray masses, the roads quickly disappearing. I clamp the window shut, closing my eyes, and sink down in my seat, trying to forget about it.

I come back from the bathroom wobbly, after I threw up for the fourth time. Harley isn't paying any attention to me and neither are his men, or maybe they're acting. Either way, I'm grateful. I'm a mess. I have all the window shut on the plane so I can't see anything, but the idea of how high I am in the sky makes the world go black at the edges.

The pilots voice comes back on, telling us to sit back down for touchdown. I feel so greatly relieved, and I hurry to my seat, and strap myself in. I feel the plane start to go down, and I clutch the seat again, my hands aching but I don't feel it. My ears pop over and over, but I don't feel the pain. I hear a screech, and then I feel the plane start to bump around. Terror runs through me, and while I'm holding back a scream, the other men start to unbuckle and get their bags out.

What are they doing? I close my eyes tight, trying to make the world go away, when Harley comes up and taps me on the shoulder. "Tobias, son, we've landed. We're gonna be late if you don't hurry up an' get out of here."

I open my eyes slowly, and unbuckle myself at the same pace. However, I race to get up, and I practically run down the aisle, passing the officers, and sprint into the tube-hallway. I get into NY int'l, as the sign says, and I fall to my knees on the ground, laying perfectly still. I hear chuckling behind me, and I get up to follow the officers to rescue my Tris.

The lights dim, and someone walks out on stage. I see, with both disgust and joy, that it is Nita. She looks exactly the same, only this time, she commands more attention and people actually give it to her. Harley and I are surrounded by tons of scientists eagerly listening to whatever garbage she's going to feed them.

I tune it out, checking around for that blond hair. I don't see her, so I train my eyes on the stage when another woman comes out. She drones on, much in the same tone as Nita, and she announces the arrival of her 'subject.' My heart skips a beat as she walks out, flanked by guards, looking pale and abused.

Tris's POV:

I sit down in a metal chair, and much like last time, I just sit for them all to watch me. I scan the crowd, and it's all scientists again, eagerly inspecting me. Not soon enough, they train their eyes on the projection to my left.

The show drones on and on, until the lights turn on and they all file out. Except one. He sits near the back, and watches everyone leaving. My heart flutters, but NO, I tell myself. How could you ever be so stupid to think that it's him?

But then his eyes meet mine. They are deep blue, like the ocean. There is no mistaking that it's him. My Tobias.

Tobias's POV:

I stare at her, my heart breaking yet becoming whole again at the same time. I put a hand up for her, so she knows I'm coming back, and quickly exit and find Harley. "It's her, Harley, what's the plan?"

"We've got their vehicles flanked, but we're out of sight." He responds, deep in thought. I nod, and he leads me over to the bushes to watch. A few minutes later, she appears. A big man follows her, keeping his hands on her shoulders. It infuriates me, thinking about what they're doing to her, I just want her back.

BAM! BAM! BAM BAM BAM! All the sudden, our men jump out, shooting with deadly accuracy at the men surrounding her. They leap into action, and a full blown fight breaks out. Nita's guys whip out their guns, aiming them at the officers. I can't follow it very well from my hiding spot, but it seems that we're winning.

All of Tris's protectors are severely injured, except for the one holding her close and one person running out of the door. Nita.

Before I can process what's happening, Tris's guard is pushing her into the car, and she's fighting with all her will. She moves her elbow back to hit him square on the nose, and he simply picks her up and throws her into the car carelessly. Nita follows behind, and the door slams shut, the car rumbling to life as it begins to pull away.

I can't even speak, so much as move. Tris sees me though, and through the tears spilling out of her eyes she mouths something to me I can't understand. I motion to her, and she quickly rolls down the window enough so I can hear her.

Her guard puts the window back up immediately, but I heard what she said as clear as day.

"I'm pregnant."


	13. Chapter 13

Tobias's POV:

My mind works overtime to process what she just said to me. The world goes out of focus and all I can see is a black blob moving away down the road. The full reality of it hits me full on and pain erupts from the center of my head, radiating to every part of my body. Pregnant. Pregnant. P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T.

I find myself sitting down, dust rising up around me in a funnel-like wind caused by the rush of her car, speeding away. I hear faint conversation around me, and see two forms crouch in front of me. I recognize them vaguely as Harley and his best man. I don't understand a thing they're saying, it's drowned in the incessant chanting filling my head. Thoughts echo around, bouncing and jumping and spinning all through my brain.

She's going to have a baby. She's been imprisoned for four months and the whole time she's been pregnant. With these realizations, questions arise. Is it mine? What did they do to it? Did they get her pregnant on purpose? If it's not ours whos is it? How did they treat her? Are they going to keep it? Experiment on it? Kill it?

The noise in my mind crescendos at an alarming pace, going from a loud buzz to an overwhelming scream, filling it up to the brim with panicked questions.

Putting my head in my hands, I press my grimy hands up to my ears, filtering out all sounds from outside. I clench my teeth and squeeze my eyes shut, focusing on sorting through my thoughts. I hear muffled speaking, though I can still sense the urgent tone. Someone grabs me by the arms roughly, and I'm hoisted into a vehicle and buckled in.

"Get a hold of yourself, son! We're going to get her, and it'll be a lot easier if you're not wailing like a baby!" I hear Harley chastise me through my fog.

All I hear is the word baby. Baby. Baby.I bite into my hand to keep from screaming. Come on, Tobias! You've got to rescue Tris and the baby. What good does it do if you're sitting here having a breakdown? Get up and get going. The longer they have her the more chance there is that they'll hurt her. Or it. She needs you. No, I think, they need you. I rub my eyes until I see spots in my vision, and when they clear I bring my head up. I blink a few times, and focus. I'm in a sort of car, which Harley tells me is an "incognito van." It looks like a beat-up Honda in the front, with two of the soldiers dressed like everyday people, but in the back it's a military truck with many seats arranged in bus-like fashion, holding many soldiers ready for action.

There are no windows, only a slit of light on the floor from where the door doesn't quite meet the ground in the back of the van. We bounce around, swaying precariously in our seats. We drive like this for a while, when I get sick of waiting.

"Where exactly are we going?" I ask impatiently.

"Well, we're followin' their truck. We're headed towards Boston, their lab I assume. They cancelled their tour, so we're hoping to catch 'em before they get to home territory," Harley looks at me while speaking, expressionless, his hands folded calmly in his lap. Is this so normal for all of them, just a routine?

Right when I'm about to reply, I hear shouts from the front of the van. Their dialogue is so filled up with police jargon I can't understand much, but I'm getting an urgent vibe. Harley springs up from his seat right as the van comes to a screeching halt. The back door bursts open, and the soldiers follow suit. I fumble a bit unbuckling my seat and I notice that my hands are shaking. I press them into my thighs as I run out of the van.

Squinting in the sunlight, I search for the soldiers with my eyes. I find them, a few yards away, crouching behind a bush. I'm running to the nearest shrub to take cover when I hear the first gunshot.

I can't tell if it came from us or them, but it's quickly followed by rapid shots from both sides. I quickly check my surroundings for the enemy, and it looks like they're concentrated in and around a gas station, right near where our people are hiding. Good. Ducking down, I quickly run to the group. They refused to give me a weapon earlier, so I don't try to ask. All the sudden, I feel someone slump on my shoulder. I look over and find that I'm covered in a man's blood, a man who is now dead. I brush him off carefully, all while laying down on the ground to shield myself from shots. I take his weapon from him. It feels familiar to have it in my hands. I haven't shot a gun in almost 3 years, but I remember it all too clearly.

More men start getting shot, both on our side and theirs. I realize that this is never going to work. Both sides are going to be injured and it'll be even harder to rescue her and get her out of here. Pushing through the rest of our soldiers, I stand up, and quickly run to the other side of the station. I crouch against the wall, and lean over to get a view.

I see three men coming at me, and without a second thought I shoot them all, right in the chests. The sound of their bodies falling to the ground makes me want to vomit. I almost feel guilty, but I have to remember what they're doing to my Tris. The thought of her spurs me into action, and I run full force towards the rest of their men.

Tris's POV:

I hear gunshot after gunshot through the muffled walls. I scream into the cloth covering my face but Trent doesn't move a muscle. He pushes me into the front seat and puts the engine on. No! No no no no no! They're here to get me! You can't just get away with this!

I move my hands around frantically, and they land on smooth metal. I feel around and pick it up. A gun. Praying he doesn't notice, I sit as still as a statue, listening for something to let me know where Trent is. I hear him cough quietly, and that's all I need. I take the gun, point it at where I hope it'll kill him, and pull the trigger.

The cloth falls from my face with his hand. I hit him right in-between the eyes, and it's a miracle I hit him at all. I don't know how to drive a car, but I manage to stop it and hope it stays put. I don't feel a single shred of guilt. That alone should make me feel, but it doesn't. And I don't care.

I contemplate leaving the car when I hear shouts from outside. My heart pumps faster, the voice striking me. It's awfully familiar. The deep voice shouts again, and I know it's him. I have to let him know where I am. I open the door of the car ever so slightly, the one facing the gas station where they're fighting. I peek my head out, and I get dizzy.

Tobias has a scientist I recognize pressed up against the wall. Matthew. He's got Matthew. He's shouting at him, asking him where I am. I decide against running out into the open, so instead I shout his name.

His head snaps towards me immediately, finding me with his eyes. He sags visibly, so Matthew has time to wriggle out of his grasp. I watch him take a gun off the ground, standing quickly. I shout his name again, willing him to look at the man. "Tobias! Behind you! Tobias! Tobias!"

At the last second, he looks behind him just as the gun goes off. I scream his name, and I find myself running out of the car. He can't die now. We've been through so much he can't be shot by Matthew. Please, please, please no. I've never really been a huge believer in God, but I find myself praying silently as I run. Please, God. Let him live. He's my everything, I can't live without him. You have to. You can't do this.

I reach the gas station, and it occurs to me that Tobias is still standing. He turns around, and his eyes light up with an emotion I can't place. We run to eachother so quickly we might collide, but he picks me up and hugs me so tight I can't breathe. But I don't care, I don't care, he's with me again. We keep saying eachother's names and we stand there for an eternity before I hear more shouts. Tobias scoops me up and starts running.

I realize that he should be dead, and when I look back at Matthew I feel the world spin. He's crumpled on the ground, a bloody hole in the side of his skull. For the first time today I feel guilty. He shot himself. I don't know if it was so I could escape, or if his own grief was overwhelming, but I know one thing: I am forever indebted to the scientist named Matthew.

I wake up to Tobias's arms around me, one hand resting on my shoulder and the other splayed on my stomach. I think we're in a huge car, with lots of rows and a big aisle, little windows with plastic shades, until I realize that this is a plane. I've only ridden one once before, and the thought of being up this high equally frightens me and excites me. Heights. Tobias is terrified of heights.

I crane my neck around to look at him. His eyes are shut tightly, and his jaw line is hard. All of the windows near us have the little plastic cover down.

I press a sweet kiss to his lips, and I truly wake up for the first time in months. His eyes shoot open, and he relaxes a bit. I try to sound cool and collected, but my voice cracks. "Hey."

We both start crying at that, and he hugs me even tighter, kissing me passionately. Our tears mingle as we pull back together. I start to sob loudly, and he pulls me back into his arms. "I love you," he murmurs, "Don't ever leave me again."

"I love you, I love you, I love you," I repeat in-between tears.

Tobias's POV:

She fell asleep after a few minutes on the plane. After thanking Harley multiple times, I take my car from the police station and drive home. I carry her inside, and lay her down on our bed gently. She's still sound asleep, so I put her under the covers and climb in with her, and I feel whole again when I drift into sleep next to her.

When I wake up sunlight is already seeping through the windows, leaving soft patches of gold on the walls. I feel her shift in my arms, and she presses her lips to mine, and I feel her smiling against me. I move my hands to her hips, and when she pulls away I smile.

"I can't believe you flew on a plane to get me," she says, still smiling.

"Did you really think I'd let them take you and get away with it?" I still can't believe in how self-depreciating she is. She knows I love her.

Her smile turns sheepish, "No. But I didn't know if you actually would be able to get me. I had to," she gulps, "kill my guard to get out. I tried to escape before but they threatened to kill…the…the," she trails off, her eyes wandering around the room, looking anywhere but me.

"The baby?" I say quietly. She only nods, and I see small tears fall out of her eyes. "Hey. Hey, come here," I pull her close, forcing her to look into my eyes. "I love both of you, ok? This isn't perfect timing, but I'm happy! I know you want kids, someday, but that someday is now. I think we couldn't be more ready."

Gratitude and love fill her eyes, but I still see sadness. "You don't have to lie to me, you know," she whispers.

I respond, "I know. So I'm not."

She pulls me closer, kissing me on the cheek.

"So, do you know anything about…about our baby?"

Her smile falters. "No. Well, I think I'm about four months along, but I never had any appointments or anything like that."

I smile, "Well, we have to fix that, don't we?" She beams at me, and pulls my hand to her small bump, placing it gingerly. I rest my hand on hers, feeling this life that's inside of her. She's barely showing, but you can still feel a definite swell in her stomach.

"But, shouldn't we go to the police station? We've probably got a ton of legal matters," I cut her off with a finger to her lip.

"That can wait," I say, "I want to see my child."

The doctor rubs jelly-like stuff on Tris's stomach, after examining her thoroughly. He said there is no external damage, and that everything appears fine so far. But we really have to look at an ultrasound.

"I should be able to tell the gender, so let's get a look." He pulls out a wand, and sweeps it across her belly, eyes on the screen. Tris squeezes my hand, looking nervously at the little bean-like shape that's being shown. It looks nothing like a baby to me, but the doctor points out the arms, legs, and head.

"Everything looks perfect," he starts, and I hear both Tris and myself breathe out an audible sigh of relief. "And, let me look around here," he starts to move the wand slowly, examining the screen through his thick glasses.

"Well, Miss Prior, it appears to me that you are having a _"


	14. Chapter 14

Tobias's POV:

"Well, Miss Prior, it appears to me that you are having a baby girl!" The doctor prints out a picture of the ultrasound, and rubs the stuff off Tris's stomach.

My face breaks out into a smile when I hear the words "baby girl." I want a son someday…but I'm not ready for that yet. I look over at Tris to find her beaming as well, and I give her hand a reassuring squeeze. I give her a peck on the cheek and help her up from the chair.

(page break)

"Tobias, I can't believe we're actually having a baby. A girl!" Tris says. She's smiling slightly, but I can see in her eyes there's more than just happiness in her words. She looks nervous. I have to say I'm relieved, because I am scared out of my mind. I don't let her know, though.

I give her a lopsided grin, "I know. It's amazing, huh? You, and me, we're gonna be parents."

"Well, you sound confident," Tris mumbles, rolling off my lap to the other side of the bed. I grab her quickly under the arms and pull her towards me, so our bodies fit together perfectly. I put my hand on top of hers on her stomach, completely covering it. She cranes her neck to look at me, pensively.

"I'm just better at hiding my emotions," I whisper into her ear. She shakes lightly with laughter, rubbing her hand against her stomach gently under mine.

"Well, you should know by now you don't have to hide your feelings around me. Okay?" She pulls back, twisting around to look me in the eyes. "I'm serious. I know we had…problems before," I frown, and she puts a hand up to silence me, "And I don't want anything like that to happen again. Okay? So you tell me how you feel, right now. Be honest, or I might have to get Christina to interrogate you."

She swivels all the way around, moving away from me on the bed. I sigh, and think carefully about my words before speaking. "Alright. Well, I am scared. Very scared. Terrified, in fact," I start slowly, gauging her reaction. Her face stays passive, impossible to read. "You're only 20, and I'm 22, but age doesn't bother me. It doesn't mean anything. We've been through so much, we're older than some 40-year-olds. But we've got our whole lives ahead of us. Together. I'm ecstatic, Tris! I'm more than that. I've always loved you, and I've always wanted a family, and I want one with you, Tris. Don't you dare ever think otherwise. I love you and our baby girl.

"And, I feel like I should share this with you, but I'm really happy it's a girl. Most of my fear of this comes from…my…Marcus. And I want a son, someday, but right now…I don't think…I don't think I could do that," my voice starts out strong, slowly dwindling and becoming a whisper at the end. I stutter more than I'd like and Tris gives me a sad look, not quite sympathetic, but almost. I find tears prickling the back of my eyes and I force them back.

I feel her hand on my shoulder. "Tobias…I don't know how you'd ever think you are anything like that man. Listen to me," she moves my head towards hers, like I always do to her. "I trust you, Tobias, more than anyone. I know you. I know you wouldn't do anything like that to our child. Never." She pulls me into a hug, and I wrap my arms around her, still fighting back tears. I don't know what I did to deserve her. She presses against me so there is no space between our bodies, and I can feel how hers has changed. Nobody else would really notice it if they don't know, but I feel her little baby bump against my stomach, and it feels so right, the three of us together.

Suddenly I feel movement against my stomach and Tris pulls back, a look of shock on her face. I start asking her what's wrong frantically and she just beams at me. Confused, I ask, "Tris? What happened?"

"She moved! You felt it too?"

I can't stop the smile from leaping on to my face, as if it is contagious. I just felt our daughter move. She grabs my hand and puts it on her stomach, and I feel a swirling movement that goes on for a few seconds then stops. We both laugh and smile even more, if possible, and we fall asleep together, her in my arms, and our hands on her stomach.

(page break)

I wake up to an empty bed and a silent apartment. I leap out of bed, head reeling from getting up to fast, and start to walk clumsily out of the bedroom. I hear a muffled sob coming from the bathroom, and I run as fast as I can.

Tris is laying on the floor, curled up in a ball with her hands around her knees, eyes squeezed shut. She's moaning and crying and saying stuff I can't understand. I sit next to her and try to pry her hands away, gently saying soft words to her. She doesn't budge, and I start to become more insistent.

"Tris. Tris! What's wrong, honey, please tell me what's wrong!" I pull harder, but not too hard at her arms. She resists to the point where her arms are shaking. All the sudden she falls apart, getting out of her previous position. She scrambles away from me, sliding on the floor to the edge of the bathroom. A look of terror fills her eyes. "Don't touch my baby!" She screams at me.

"Tris, it's me-

"I said, don't touch my baby!" She screams even louder, and presses up against the wall with such force I hear a creaking noise. I try to advance towards her slowly, but she only retreats into the corner, hands on her stomach, looking ready to fight.

"Tris, listen to me. Listen. It's me, Tobias. Tobias. Four. I'm not hurting you. I'm not hurting you." I try again to advance to her, but she just screams incoherent nonsense at the top of her lungs. Her face is tear-stained and her hair is damp with sweat. I rush out of the room, grabbing the phone, and quickly dial 911.

I inform them of the situation and hurry back to her, where I find she hasn't moved a muscle. The operator told me to just watch her, not to move or speak as it might trigger something in her. He says he can't diagnose what is happening to her, but it might be as serious as brain-damage-induced hallucinations.

A few minutes later, after sitting in the door frame of the bathroom keeping a careful eye on her, I hear a rapid knock at the door. I rush to open it, and show the paramedics where she is. She screams even louder when she sees them, pressing herself into the corner and scrunching up into a ball.

It takes huge amounts of self control not to go over and hug her, comfort her, and I want to cry myself seeing her in this much pain and agony. I start to get frustrated, and mostly worried, as the paramedics try and try again to come near her but she won't allow them any closer. One pulls out a shot, and is advancing towards her with it when I realize that it might not be good.

"She's pregnant!" I shout, that might have been a good thing to tell them before, you idiot!

The man looks at me somewhat annoyed, and pulls out a different shot. He advances towards her in one swift move, injecting it into her upper arm. She quickly goes limp, and he scoops her up into his arms and puts her on the gurney. I follow them out and lock the door. We all pile into the elevator and head to the hospital.

Tris's POV:

Everything is so loud. So loud.

Noises are everywhere, and I try to break free but something's holding me down. My eyes won't open no matter how hard I try and I feel dread deep inside my gut. They've come back. She said if I escaped, I'd never truly be free. Now that's coming true. They're going to kill my baby, and take me back. I can't go back. I can't go back.

Tobias's POV:

"Tris Prior?" The nurse comes out with a clipboard, calling her name. That means me. I rise from the dirty waiting room chair and stand in front of her.

"Hi, I take it you're her…?" she asks slowly, with an overly-calm voice.

"Boyfriend," I reply curtly.

"Ah. Okay, well, Tris is in the ER right now, but we're moving her to a normal room. We're going to keep her overnight, and you're welcome to stay." I nod vigorously. "Okay, I'll lead you to her. A doc will come in and explain everything. She's fine, though." I don't believe her.

Tris's POV:

My eyes fly open suddenly. I gave up trying after a while, and I the light is too bright. I squeeze them shut again, the light burning through my eyelids. I try to wiggle my toes, and, finally, am successful.

I have no clue where I am, and my mind is telling me I should be worried but all my panic is pulled under when it's about to surface. Everything is hazy, and I open my eyes again and I see what looks like a hospital room.

I'm about to press the button for a nurse when one walks in, trailed by Tobias.

Tobias's POV:

I walk in the room and she has her eyes open. She's laying on the hospital bed, white as her sheets, and her hair is matted under her. She's wearing a thin gown that is open in the back.

I walk over to her slowly, and the nurse says she's OK now, I can touch her. I kiss her slowly on the lips, and she responds, but not as much as she usually does. I don't kiss her for long, and I pull away just as the doctor comes in.

"Hi, Mr… . And, aha, , nice to see you've joined us." The doctor starts. He's in his mid-thirties to forties, and he has a friendly face with a big cheesy smile.

"Well, I bet you're wondering what happened just now, so I'm going to give it to you straight. has what we call, PTSD, or post traumatic stress disorder. Are you familiar with the condition?"

"Somewhat."

"Well, basically after a person has a life threatening experience, they seem fine right afterwards but from weeks to years later they may develop this disorder. They feel intense sadness, fear, guilt, or anger as they relive the event in their minds. Tris had an episode, a bad one, back in your apartment. She's fine now, but we're gonna get her some meds-safe for her and the baby- and a counselor. This is especially important because she is pregnant, we need to reduce her stress levels or the baby might be harmed or she could go into very early labor."

I nod. "So…she's OK now?"

"Well, for now, yes, but this is a situation that can be easily resolved but it's going to take time. I have to be going, but please ask anyone if you have any questions."

I nod again, looking back at Tris. She fell asleep again while he was talking, even though it sounded boring every word got me more and more worried.

She's got PTSD, and it could have serious complications for the baby. Every time my life starts to pick up again, my world seems to come crashing down.


	15. Chapter 15

Tris's POV:

I wake up to the beeping and purring of hospital machines. I feel an IV in my hand, and looking up, I see some sort of clear liquid dripping down into it. I'm in a stark white room, with my bed, a window with curtains closed, and a lonely blue chair with faded armrests. I'm alone. I think it's nighttime but I can't really tell.

I try to sit up a bit, and my muscles feel like lead. I lethargically move my hand to my stomach, as an instinct. I manage to pull myself up to a comfortable position and I muster up enough strength to push the nurse call button.

Almost immediately an older nurse comes in wearing a red and pink outfit. "Tris! Glad to see you're awake. What do you need?" She asks patiently.

I don't really know what I need. I try to speak, but my throat hurts like something else and no sound comes out. I motion to my throat when she gives me a puzzled look.

"Oh…well, you were screamin' pretty good before they brought you here, so I think you just used up your voice. I'll get you a writing pad…one sec." She darts out of the room, the door only slightly ajar behind her.

I hear a slight knock on the door, and since I can't say anything I just sit there quietly, waiting for the person to come in.

A few seconds later Tobias peers in quickly, before pushing the door all the way open and striding in. He looks tired, exhausted actually. His eyes, rimmed with red, have deep circles under them, and he looks like he hasn't shaved in a week. He's wearing a tight white tee and gray sweats.

Pulling up the tattered blue chair beside my bed, he almost trips. He never trips, or stumbles, or anything like that. Something's up.

The nurse comes in quickly, and hands me a white board and a marker. She gives me a sympathetic smile before rushing out again, closing the door completely.

Tobias gives me a confused look, and I hold up a finger and write, Lost voice. Can't talk.

He squints and leans closer to the board when I show it to him, and he laughs. "You have terrible handwriting, Tris." I shoot him a glare.

I'm really tired, you know, I write.

"Excuses, excuses." He laughs again. "But, anyways…do you know why you're here?" At the shake of my head, he continues. "Well, I found you screaming and shaking on the floor of the bathroom last-no, two nights ago, and I took you here, after you were…sedated. You have PTSD, post traumatic stress disorder. You know what that is?"

I nod, and write, Yeah, but I thought that was for people coming out of wars and stuff. And, you sedated me? Seriously?

He smiles softly, "We had to. It was serious, Tris, it is serious. And for the PTSD, no, anyone can get it if they've had a life-threatening experience, like you."

I nod slowly, taking this in. I know what PTSD is somewhat, but the fact that it makes you scared and relive the event is the extent of my knowledge. It scares me that I can't remember a thing after I fell asleep in Tobias's arms two nights ago, and now I'm in a hospital because I had a huge…panic attack?

I've had panic attacks before, like when I was young. My mother had to keep them a secret, because somehow even having an anxiety event was considered selfish. She'd move me upstairs to her bedroom, lock the door, and comfort me while I was shaking and crying. But I always remembered it. Thinking about my mother makes tears come to my eyes, and I let them fall.

Tobias's arms surround me, and I let myself get lost in his embrace.

"Are you sure you can walk on your own?" Tobias looks down at me with a worried expression.

I ease myself out of the wheelchair, nodding. "I'm just tired, I can walk," I say with a scratchy, quiet voice that sounds nothing like me. I use the railing to walk down the hallway, Tobias following close behind, carrying my flowers Christina sent. When I asked him if he told our friends I had been…rescued, he just gave me a guilty look and pulled out his phone. Honestly.

We get in his car without saying a word, and I close my eyes and focus on the sound of the engine. It roars to life, and then quiets down, purring at a steady volume that makes the car vibrate when we're stopped.

It only takes 20 minutes to get back home, and when we get there we take the elevator to the 4th floor. I feel so lazy about it, but I don't think I could actually climb those stairs right now.

Tobias puts the key in the door while I lean against the wall, desperate to sit down, and I hear the key turning in the lock.

"SURPRISE!" I walk in, somewhat dazed, and meet the excited faces of all of our friends. They're all scattered about, standing with their arms in the air frozen, like time was stopped. I see Christina, Zeke and Shauna, Peter, and Caleb, Susan, and Andre. I smile at them, at a loss for words. Across the back window is a big banner, with the words "WELCOME HOME, TRIS!" scrawled across the back in what looks like Caleb's handwriting. Balloons are placed evenly around the living room, and there are streamers hanging from the ceiling.

I laugh and thank them all, my voice not cooperating at all, and we all sit down. I tell them the story, leaving out some details, and Tobias runs to the fridge when I'm done. He emerges with a big Dauntless cake and everyone cheers.

He explains that he hunted down the old cooks, who, thank God, survived, and got the recipe. We all eat greedily and soon it's all gone. I lean in to Tobias when we're done, setting my free hand on my stomach. Christina eyes me carefully; suspiciously, when her eyes go as wide as the moon. She puts down her cake and starts mouthing things to me I can't understand. I don't read lips.

"What are you saying?" I ask her hoarsely.

She gives me a sarcastic look and gestures towards my hand. I turn red, craning around to face Tobias. "You didn't tell them?" I say quietly.

He scratches his neck, "Well, uh, no."

By now, everyone else has stopped eating and is looking at us expectantly. I nudge Tobias, because I don't want to be the one to say this right now. He clears his throat, trying to come up with the right words. "Well, uh, we're pregnant."

Everyone stares for a few seconds, then claps loudly. I laugh, and so does Tobias.

Zeke, sitting across from me, reaches over to pat Tobias on the back. "Classy, man," he says, referring to his choice of words.

I laugh, and Tobias tries to defend himself but he's got nothing on his side.

The party starts to wind down, and after wishing Zeke and Shauna goodbye, playing with Andre and chatting with Susan, everyone's left except, of course, Christina.

She sits down right across from me, putting her hands on her hips and says a single word: "Details." Tobias gets up from next to me, and I give him a glare but he just turns around and smirks.

Sighing, I say, "Well, I'm four and a half months, and we're having a…uh, we're not telling."

She gives me a huge pout and a fake glare. Her face falls and she suddenly gets serious. "Wait, it's his, right. They didn't do something in the lab…?"

I shake my head vigorously. "No, it's his." She smiles.

"So, that means you guys," at this, she makes a circle with one hand and sticks out one finger with the other.

I let out a disgusted noise, "You're still making the hand gestures?" She just laughs.

Tobias's POV:

I wake up to someone vomiting in the bathroom. Tris, I think. I rush out of bed with only boxers on and find her hunched over the toilet, dry-heaving. I pull her hair back and rub her shoulders soothingly. She stops a few minutes later, leaning against the wall dejectedly. "I'm okay," she deadpans.

"Are you sure?" I ask, concerned.

"Yes, I'm sure! I throw up almost every day, for four months now, so I'm pretty sure I know if I'm okay!" She snaps.

I sit still, my arms still massaging her shoulders. I guess it's hormones…maybe. I'm realizing that I don't know a thing about pregnancy.

She puts her hand on her small bump, closes her eyes, and starts throwing up again. I comfort her, and she tries to push my arms away while she vomits.

"Tris," I say quietly, "let me help you."

She just shakes her head. I sigh, but don't move my hands.


	16. Chapter 16

Tobias's POV:

"For the last time, Four, I don't need you to come with me!" Tris shouts, moving as quickly down the hallway as her 5-months-belly will allow. I stand dejectedly in the door frame. I don't make a move to follow her…yet.

She's been getting on me recently about being too clingy and not letting her go anywhere by herself. I see where she's coming from. But she's got to understand. I've almost lost her, what, 3, 4 times? No way am I letting her go anywhere remotely unsafe, especially not if she's carrying our baby. Right now she's going to the grocery store, with Christina.

Sighing, I close the door and move back in to the living room. My knee starts to bounce up and down. I don't like not being with her, I don't like it at all. Besides what I said earlier, she has PTSD, and she refuses to tell anyone. She's had 2 more "attacks" since we first took her to the hospital, but they weren't as bad.

I just calmed her down by talking to her quietly, bringing her out of her fear world and into the real one. I pull out my phone, checking my messages. None.

I go to the home, and I pull up the "Tracker" app. It's connected to a little tracker the hospital put on Tris, it monitors her bodily functions and her precise location. I know how creepy this sounds, Zeke has told me on several occasions, but the doctors gave it to me to monitor her heart rate and breathing so I can tell if she's okay, whenever I'm not with her. Though those times are very few, and I can't deny I do it on purpose, I still need to be prepared. She is never going to get taken away from me, ever. I won't have it.

Her heart rate and breathing show up on the screen. All clear. Her location, it shows that she's right outside the building.

I close out of the app, and lean back into the couch, closing my eyes. Images of her flood my mind, and I feel terror in the pit of my stomach. Nita is still out there, somewhere. The cops didn't get her in time. All of her accomplices, every single dumb-ass who helped her is in jail, or being tried.

And then my mind wanders to our baby. I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that I'm actually going to be a dad. I feel my blood run cold every time I think about our daughter. I'm only 22. And she's only 20. My back starts to burn at the thought of children, even the word causes me physical pain.

Tris tells me every night that I'm not like him, I'm nothing like him, but I don't believe her. Because she doesn't know me, doesn't really know me. She knows me more than anyone else, but not even she knows my darkest thoughts. I hit her, multiple times, and I even held her at gunpoint. She says, "That was under a simulation, Tobias, I don't blame you." So what? I still did it. I still almost killed her, and she wasn't going to stop me. What if I almost killed our child? What if I harm her?

I don't even know what would spur me on to do that, but I am far too much like my father. I try to block it out, press it down, but I'm exactly like him in almost every way possible. We look alike. I look more like Evelyn, but our eyes are the same. Reflected in mine, I assume, is not anger, but only because I have perfected the art of having and showing no emotion.

I'm strong and I'm intimidating. While Marcus might not intimidate the average adult, to a kid, he was like the Hulk. I use violence. I try not to anymore, and I haven't touched a gun in years-minus the time when I saved Tris from Nita-and I haven't thrown a knife since my Dauntless days. I still work out in the gym every other day, but that's only to keep in shape.

I know Tris isn't exactly happy about this baby either, we're so young and foolish, and we only just got back into the world with some state of peace. We're nowhere near ready to be parents. I can't picture her with a baby, let alone myself. It's going to be hard. I know almost nothing of parenthood but what I do know scares me and I want nothing to do with it.

Our lives as young adults are over. It's all gonna be diapers and spit up and no more parties and late nights, and definitely a lot less of that, because babies never sleep and even if I wanted to actually sleep I wouldn't be able to.

My thoughts are interrupted by a loud beeping coming from my pocket. "Shit," I say out loud. I pull out my phone and see a notification, and I know immediately what it is. I run to the door, pulling on my sweatshirt. It gets stuck on my head, and after a few seconds of cursing and severely messing up my hair, I get it on. I run out the door, down the stairs, and out to the parking lot. The grocery store is just next door so I don't bother with the car, I just sprint over.

I find her at the check-out, lacking a Christina. I knew it. Never should have believed her. I put my anger aside as worry takes over. I rush over, putting an arm around her. She's surrounded by store employees, panting and sweating. Her eyes meet mine and all I can see is fear. I pick her up, grunting a little at her gained weight, and, after telling the people in the store what's going on and that she's going to be okay, walk her back to the apartment.

She calms down on the way there, and then the tears start. She grips my shirt, her salty tears and some snot dripping down leaving wet trails on my black sweatshirt. I whisper soothing nothings into her ear, keeping my anger at bay. For now.

Tris's POV:

"I'm sorry," I say. I lean back in to the couch, wishing in this moment that it might swallow me up, taking me away from here.

"Sorry…for what?" he asks, deep voice quaking with what I think is anger. He won't meet my eyes, and his head is bowed down to the ground so I can barely hear his words. His hands are clenched together, leg bouncing up and down like it always does when he tries to control himself.

"I'm sorry for lying to you and going to the store alone. I just…I just need to have some freedom, sometimes." I say the last part quieter, because I know for sure it will anger him.

His head snaps up, and he practically shouts at me, "Freedom?"

"Tobias, that's not what I meant-

"No, you meant it. It's fine, if you want your freedom you can just walk out of here any time you like. Just like with the Erudite. Look how well that turned out," The sarcasm in his voice is practically palpable, and his eyes radiate fury.

My voice cracks, "Why are you so angry? I'm really sorry I lied and I think it's pretty obvious I won't be doing it again! And you promised…you said you let that go. The Erudite thing."

"Let it go? You honestly think I could just let it go? Tris! You've left me so many times, whether it was your decision or not, I can't take it anymore! And now you've got this baby, and-

"This baby? It's our baby, Tobias! I don't care if you don't want her because I wasn't ready for this, but I was thrust into it. I can't back out. I can't just wish her away, make it all go away like magic – no! I've got her for my life. You, the father, you can just walk away. Get a girl pregnant, tell her you love her, and then leave when and leave her stuck with the kid? Is that what you want? I'm not ready to be a mom, I'm barely an adult, and you're not ready to be a dad but I thought it would be easier together." After I finish talking, my throat starts to throb. An uncomfortable silence fills the room as he stares at me.

"You think I don't want her?" He asks quietly. It's when he's quiet that scares me the most.

"What am I supposed to think, Tobias! You never talk about it, you act like she's not there, and you only get upset about it when I try to go somewhere by myself or leave you for five seconds!"

He puts his head in his hands. "I don't want to put my baggage on to you, Tris."

"You're not putting anything on me, Tobias. I love you, and your baggage. So what? I've got a shit ton, too. Tell me what's bothering you." I walk over, not quite gracefully, to the loveseat across from me where he's crouched over.

Plopping down beside him with a noticeable thunk – I'm still not used to all this extra weight – I put my arms around my shoulders. As angry and frustrated I am with him right now, it doesn't do any good to yell about it.

"I'm just like him, Tris." That's all he says.

I'm about to ask him who, but then it clicks in my mind. He thinks he's just like Marcus. I don't know what to say to that, because I've told him constantly since I've seen him get worried about it, but I've never seen him this upset over it. He never believes me, while he shares one or two similarities of his father, he is completely different.

"No. I don't care what you say, what you think. You're not. You need to trust me. What can I do to make you trust me?" I ask softly. I know trust is the biggest problem in this relationship, although I trust him more than anyone, it's not as much as it should be.

I know he doesn't trust me, as much anyways. I've left him so many times, he thinks I don't understand, but I do. I tell him this quietly, as sobs begin to shake his body. I put my arms around him, whispering in his ear. "I understand you, Tobias. I need you to understand me. We're never going to get anywhere if we don't compromise."

I hold him for hours as he cries, and I encourage him to let it all out. He asks me time and time again how he's different from his father, and I tell him over and over again everything I can think of. He cries more than I've ever seen him cry before, his eyes somehow not drying up with the constant flow of tears on his cheeks.

We've cried so much, I've cried so much in these past years of my life, I think, to make up for what ten normal people cry in their whole lifetimes. It isn't fair. But, as my mother used to say when I got selfish, life isn't fair.

The thought of my mother, though it rarely brings tears anymore so much as sadness and guilt, starts me off crying too. It might be the hormones, I don't know, but it feels good to cry sometimes. I hug him tighter as he cries, and he's stiff as a board as my tears fall down on his shoulder.

"We need a counselor."

"Tobias, we do not need to pay some Amity 200 dollars to tell us what we can figure out ourselves. I told you my side, and you told me yours. So now we need to work this out," I say, rubbing circles on his big hands like he so often does to me.

"Okay," he starts. "I don't want you to be alone. Ever. I mean, I don't want to ever be away from you. But I know that's selfish, and not fair to you, but I fall apart when I'm not with you."

"Okay. I understand that completely. I know you have no reason to trust me anymore, and I respect that. But I need to be alone sometimes. Not often, and not all the times, just sometimes, I need to feel like I can do things myself. You don't need to be there, you know."

"Yeah, but look what happened today? I leave you for 20 minutes and you have an attack," he says worriedly, looking down at his scabbed knuckles. I thought he stopped fighting.

I brush it off, "That's just a coincidence. I've only had, like, three of those."

"Four," he says, chiding me, "If you count the first one." I give him a look.

"I know you don't take this seriously, but I do. You…it's not good for you, or for the baby, Tris."

"I know, and I'm making it better."

"You're trying to make it better. It's gonna take time, I know, but you need to understand my concerns about this," he says, and he finally looks me in the eyes. The wall I normally see is gone, torn down by grief, and now I can see his worry and anxiousness.

"I do understand, but you need to understand that it doesn't warrant you the ability to follow me everywhere."

He sighs. "So, where do we go from here?"

"Well," I start, contemplating the right words, "I think you should let me go places on my own, only sometimes, and I'll agree to you stalking me on your phone."

He blushes a little bit, and I stifle a laugh. "I don't really care that much, actually. You did rescue me today. And it's nice to know I'm cared about so much I'm practically stalked – by my own family."

His eyes light up at my use of the word "family" and he finally concedes. "Okay, you win. You can go places alone – sometimes – if I get to…monitor you."

I laugh for real this time. "Okay. I'll let you monitor me until you understand that I'm not going anywhere. Promise," I stick out my pinky to shake.

He takes it without question. "Promise."


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Boston" POV is a 'mystery' view, you all can guess who it is. Tell me if you like this, I might do more! Hope it's not too confusing :)

Boston:

"I'm done with her! I don't want to even waste my time with her anymore. Her boy-toy, the number man, he's gonna come and ruin things every time."

The woman retrieves the pencil she tucked behind her ear earlier, bringing it down to a notepad. She scribbles frantically in old-world cursive, not looking up when the other person in the room talks to her.

"I get that. I don't even want to see her ugly little face again," the deeper voice belonging to a burly man responds, "I don't want the number man, either. I don't want either of them, I'm tellin' ya."

"The number man, as you put it, is not even a GP, though he's very interesting, he doesn't fit my requirements. It's too complicated," she speaks slowly, every syllable dripping with sarcasm, "And I want you to understand once and for all that I'm not going to take either one of them. Waste of time."

"Then who are we gonna get? The what do you call them, Erudite, got them all before we could get 'em out! Where are we gonna find some unsuspecting GPs?"

"Well, the ones the Erudite didn't get we took," she says. Her eyes light up, and a fire starts inside of her. "I've got it."

"I'm sorry, what are we doing?" The man scratches his head in confusion.

"We don't know of any other GPs," she starts excitedly, except for one."

"And who's that?"

"You idiot. I've calculated the possibilities, including any anomalies, and even though they're not both GP, her Divergence is so strong, I am 100 percent certain that their child will be the strongest Divergent we've got."

Tobias's POV:

"She looks just like you," says Tris, who is examining the ultrasound picture we just got. It shows her face, and I think I'm already in love with her. "Good. I'm praying she doesn't look a thing like me," she finishes, a tone of relief in her voice.

Why wouldn't she want her own child to look like her? I voice my question, and she gives me her look. I know why, of course, but that doesn't mean I don't understand. I've loved her for almost four years of my life. I think she's the most beautiful girl in the world.

I can't possibly explain that to her using words, so I reach out, take the picture from her hands, and set it down on the table. Before she has time to respond, my lips are on hers passionately.

She puts her hands on my chest, rubbing up and down slowly while we kiss. It's slow, but that's intentional. I put my hands on her stomach, feeling the firm swell of her belly. She's five months now, and you can't miss her protruding midsection if you were blind. She's big, and the doctor told us the baby is big, and Tris is so small, they don't balance each other out. We already know she's most likely gonna need a C-Section, and the thought of that scares me to death.

I move my hands around her stomach, feeling our little girl. Right now, her head is facing downwards, so that's a good sign. I feel a prod, and then a harder kick, and Tris smiles, pulling away from me slightly. She puts her hands over mine, and looks up at me. I can't always tell exactly what she's thinking or feeling, but in this moment, it's pretty clear to me.

Love.

"So you mean to tell me, you haven't named it yet?" Christina practically shouts. She's been at our apartment lately more than I'd like, but I need her help with something I'm working on. So I allow it, for now.

After she's done quarreling with Tris about telling her the gender, and practically buying us a baby names book, I pull her in to the kitchen when Tris is in the bathroom.

"So you're still in?" I ask, keeping my voice low.

She beams wide, "Of course! I can't wait to get you guys a good place to live! This is cozy, yeah, but it's pretty tight."

"Yeah…okay, I'll text you later. I've got a place picked out already, with a view of the Pier, but I need to fix it up a little."

"Sounds a-ma-zing! Okay, I know this is a little personal and Candor, but I need to ask you something," I don't like where this is going, but I nod my head curtly. "Okay, so, uh, when are you planning on marrying her?"

I practically stop breathing at the mention of marriage. I have a ring, one I bought for her after she…died, and I've had it all these years. I keep it in my bedroom, in my sock drawer, still in the velvet box. It never even crossed my mind that I would actually have to propose to her; I considered her and myself married already, but that's only in my mind.

"Sorry, sorry, I know, it's just, with the baby and all – you might wanna get going on that," her words are apologetic, but her tone is not one bit.

At that moment, Tris walks out of the bathroom, and Christina promptly says goodbye and exits, much to my relief.

I decide I need to talk to her, and find out if she actually wants to get married.

I sit down on the couch next to her, placing my hand on her thigh to get her attention.

"What?" Her voice is heavy with sleep, maybe it isn't the best time.

"Nothing. You're tired, you should go to bed soon," I say, leaning forward to get up.

She pulls me back down. "That's my plan, but I'm not doing anything until you tak to me. Don't lie to me. I can see through you." Shoot. She knows me too well.

"Okay," I start, wiping my free hand on my jeans. "I wanted to know what your thoughts are on marriage," I say the last part so quietly she wouldn't be able to hear me if she was a centimeter farther away.

"Marriage? You mean, if I want to get married?" She asks, amusement twinkling in her eyes.

I half-roll mine, "Tris, you know what I mean." I act nonchalant, but I think I might sweat out all my water if she doesn't answer me positively. We've been a bit rocky lately, actually, we've always been rocky, our relationship has many cracks that haven't been fixed. I really didn't think this through; the reasons why she shouldn't marry me outnumber the positive ones almost 20 to 1.

"Yeah, I wanna get married, of course." She smiles, knowing that's not what I need to hear from her.

"When?" I pry, my voice shaking a little bit. I hope she doesn't notice.

"When? Hmmm…let me think," she says, sinking further back into the couch, resting one hand under her stomach. "Well, sometime in the next, oh, I don't know, 1 to 30 years," I can see her suppress a smirk.

"To who?"

"When the right guy comes around, I guess," she says, practically laughing now. My cheeks start to heat up, and I would get deeply hurt from this comment if it weren't for the look on her face. She's rarely this happy, and even though it took my embarrassment to make her laugh, I'll settle for it. Just this once.

I decide to give up all the charades and stalling. I pull out the box, sliding off the couch gracefully – thank God, don't need anything else to embarrass me – and I take her free hand in mine.

"Beatrice Prior," I start, and she makes a face. I correct myself, smiling, "Tris Prior. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

She pauses for a second, and I feel like such an idiot. I wait for the word, and when she says it, I feel myself relax. "Yes."

Tris's POV:

"So he finally asked?" Christina shouts in to the phone. Twisting the new ring on my finger, I smile to myself.

"Yeah."

She squeals, so loud I'm surprised the phone can support that much sound. I laugh, and tell her, "Okay, glad you're so excited. Please, don't tell anyone, you hear me, anyone, okay? I've got to go."

She promises before I hang up, but I know everyone will be calling us tomorrow to congratulate us.

Tobias walks in to the bedroom, wearing one of his old Dauntless shirts. "She's gonna tell everyone, you know."

"I know. And, don't mind my asking, but…" I gesture to his shirt.

He looks down and smiles. "It's the shirt I wore when I first met you. I'm feeling nostalgic today."

I can't suppress my own smile at that. His setting and pretenses for proposing weren't that romantic, at all, really, but I loved it anyways. I've been thinking about marrying him for four years, and now it's finally happening. But, we both agreed, not until after the baby. I have too much stress as it is, according to him.

We settle down to bed, in our usual position. I sleep on the right side, curled up like a ball, as much as I can with my huge midsection. He sleeps behind me, curling himself around me, one arm underneath me and the other on my stomach.

Boston

"So, how long do we have to wait?" The man asks.

"About three months. We can prepare, in the time from now to then. Get the place situated for a newborn, come up with a plan, learn details about the child."

The woman holds a picture in her freshly manicured hands, a picture of an unborn baby girl. She examines it carefully, taking everything in to account. She looks normal, and just like her father. She can see a bit of the girl's mother in there, too. The perfect mix.

"Order me a genetic sample. Use the doctor's account, and add it in to the next appointment's schedule, and send it here. I want to make sure she's worth it before we get her over here."

"Yes m'am."

Picking up another picture, a picture of a young lady's belly, the woman examines it just as carefully, tracing along the egg-shaped curve.

The woman in the photograph's blond hair falls just to the end of her shoulders, and she's strangely skinny, and also very petit. She's holding up a black shirt so her bulging stomach is exposed. She looks big for five months, and this excites the woman. The bigger she is, the sooner she'll have the baby and the sooner they can get her in for testing.

There are a few stretch marks, and she's carrying the baby low, as is expected for her size. "Everything seems perfect," she says, smiling broadly.


	18. Chapter 18

Tris's POV:

I wake to the sound of Tobias's quiet breathing next to my ear. We used to snuggle up next to each other, so our bodies were pressed together, but being five months pregnant that doesn't really work anymore. I sleep on my side, normally, but I can't curl up like I used to, so Tobias can't hug me either. Now we sleep on different sides, he often ends up on his stomach, like he is now, with his face close to mine but our bodies at angles pointing away from each other.

With a bit of a struggle, I manage to roll over, so I'm facing him. His eyes are open, of course. He's always awake before I am.

"Good morning," he says, his voice softer and lower than usual.

"Morning." I give him a quick kiss on the side of his lips and roll over, attempting to get out of bed. I hear him groan quietly, and he swiftly gets up, coming around the bed to help me.

Sighing, I take his hand and he pulls me up. We sit down at the breakfast bar, and he pulls out a box of cereal. He asks me if I want any with hand gestures, but I shake my head no. I'm not feeling very hungry right now.

He sets it down, and walks over to me, sitting on the stool beside me. He turns my head towards his gently. "Tris," he says, searching my eyes carefully, "Are you okay?"

I nod, not feeling like talking right now. I try to turn towards the window, but his arms hold me back. "Talk to me."

I sigh. "I'm just tired right now…I'm not hungry."

He doesn't believe me. "You haven't eaten a good meal in a week. If you don't eat breakfast I'm taking you to the hospital."

I hold in my frustration. The hospital is a little overboard, and it's not really a problem because I'm feeling fine. I just haven't been sleeping well, at all, but that's to be expected. I voice my sleeping concerns to him, and he releases me, a contemplative look on his face.

"If it will make you feel better, I'll eat some Cheerios."

He smiles briefly, and pours us both a bowl of cereal. I hear the phone ring, and I start to get up but he puts a hand on my shoulder, already in the other room answering it.

"Hello?" His voice is distant, and I can't hear the other person.

I hear footsteps, and he enters the kitchen, phone in hand. His face is contorted. "Yeah, I'll get her." He hands it to me, mouthing "It's for you."

"Hello?" I say. My voice still sounds sleepy, and it's hard for my mouth to form words.

"Hey, Tris, it's Susan." Shoot. I told Susan Tobias and I could babysit Andre while she and Caleb went out of town on an anniversary thing. I totally spaced and forgot to ask Tobias.

"Oh, hey, Susan!" I try to keep my surprise out of my voice as I nearly choked on my cereal. Tobias is clearly concerned, and I wave him off with my hand, smiling.

"Hey. So, we're gonna be around in like…20 minutes. We're loading up the car right now." I hear a baby crying in the background.

"Okay, great!"

"If it's not too much trouble, could you have Tobias come down and help Caleb get the stuff out of the car?" She asks.

"No problem. I'll see you then, bye." She says goodbye, and then I hang up.

I turn around Tobias to see his eyebrows raised at me. "How would you feel about babysitting Andre for a few days?" I ask him hesitantly. I think it would be great practice, and I'd like to help out Susan, but I'm really not sure he'll feel the same way.

He eyes me suspiciously. "You mean…like…full time?" I nod. "Well…I don't know…" He trails off, looking at the floor.

"I'm glad you're on board, because, uh, Susan's coming in," I check my watch, "15 minutes."

"What? Tris did you even consider asking me first?" He looks more surprised than anything.

"I swear, Tobias, I was going to ask you a week ago but I totally forgot until today!" I put my hands up, trying to get him to see that I wasn't keeping things from him. I understand, though, we're both really touchy about that.

He just looks at me, then he sighs. "Okay. Please, try to remember next time, okay?"

I smile a little bit. "Yeah. Can you go down and help Caleb bring up his stuff?"

He's confused now. "What stuff?"

"You know, his bottles, diapers, crib, toys, play pen, clothes. Stuff like that."

He rubs the back of his neck. That's never good. "Yeah, I'll go down now."

Tobias's POV:

"Well, that's the last of it," I say, hauling the massive crib in to our bedroom. Caleb wipes his red hands on his jeans, sweaty from moving up all this baby's furniture. It's like the little kid is moving in. Well, actually, he's my nephew.

Tris is out in the living room talking to Susan, having a serious conversation about babies and pregnancy that I don't want to be involved in. Caleb and I stand in silence for a few moments, before he looks over at me with an odd look.

"What?" I ask him. I don't trust this boy, no matter how many times over Tris forgives him or he apologizes, I'm not one to hold grudges but I can't stand her brother.

"It's just…hang on. It'll get better." He has a remorseful expression.

"What do you mean?" I ask him curtly, narrowing my eyes.

"You know what I mean, Four." I haven't heard that name in years, but my ears still perk up when he says it, "She's probably acting strange, I know Susan was. It gets better, once she has the baby. Not right away, but once they hit 4, 6 months, things start to look up." I can't believe this. Getting baby advice, from my traitor Erudite brother-in-law? He's serious, though, so I go along with it.

"Um, thanks. Yeah I guess she's kinda different…and it's hard."

"It's hard because right now, she's the one feeling the baby, she's the one loving it, not you." He's standing closer to me now, leaning in the door frame. He lowered his voice once we started getting to the parts that could offend our girls if they heard them.

"I do love-" I try to say, but he interrupts me.

"No, you don't. Not yet. You will, as soon as you see her, trust me. But you can't tell me you love her now."

I stay silent. I guess he's right. I know I'm not all as excited for this as I should be, I mean, I never really thought of myself having kids until I met Tris, and even then it was something years off.

Tris calls me from outside, and I take that as my cue to leave Caleb and his philosophies behind me. I stride out, and see Susan handing her Andre gently, showing her how to hold him. Tris smiles, and looks down at her nephew happily. Caleb walks from behind me to Susan's side.

"Okay, so his bedtime is at 7, put him in his crib if and tuck him in, make sure he's okay, and he'll go out like a light. Warm up his bottles and test them with your fingers, so they're not too hot. You can bathe him in the sink every night; the shampoo is in the bottom of the green bag. Make sure you don't get it in his eyes. His favorite toy is the lion, he won't go anywhere without it." Susan looks like she could talk about his needs all day, but Caleb looks like he needs to leave. He puts a hand on her shoulder, signaling her to stop, and with a few waves and hugs they're off.

Tris turns to me, smiling softly. "That was overwhelming."

"Agreed. So…what now?"

"Can you hold him while I get his dinner?" I really don't think I need to do that, but she's so intent on it, and I guess this is good practice. I reluctantly agree, and she holds him out to me. I put my hands under hers, and she slips them away, leaving the baby in my arms. He's surprisingly heavy, but he's a lot bigger since when we last saw him; he is six months now.

I put my hand under his head and neck, supporting it, and cradle him with my other arm. "There you go! See, you're a natural." She goes off to get his bottle, so I sit on the couch gingerly, making sure not to shake the sleeping child.

I'm happy to say that I have no desire to harm him in any way when he starts crying, so instead I just try to calm him down, rocking him slightly. Nothing's working, and it feels kind of unnatural and awkward.

Thankfully Tris hurries out of the kitchen, holding a bottle. She scoops him from my arms, setting him on top of her belly, and starts to feed him. He drinks eagerly, and she smooths his strands of light hair down as he gulps. Soon he's crying again, so she burps him, I think that's what it's called, and disappears in to the kitchen.

She comes back out with a high chair, and she sets it down near the couch and puts him in it. She sets a jar of orange slush in front of him, and beckons me closer to her. "How do you know how to do all this stuff?"

She chuckles. "It's not that hard, Tobias. You just follow the instructions on the bottle. Didn't you take child development in school?"

I vaguely remember that class, but I barely ever went to school thanks to Marcus, and even if I did have perfect attendance, babies are not something most 14 year old boys pay attention to.

I just shrugged, causing her to laugh again. Andre started laughing too, showing his one little tooth on top. Tris laughed again, and I let myself chuckle a little bit too. She started to feed him with the spoon, well, she tried. He rejected every bite. Soon she got tired, she normally went to bed around 8 now, and it's seven thirty.

"Oh, he's supposed to be in bed. Feeding him is taking longer than I thought. Can you feed him, please, I need to take a bath, and I'm exhausted." She does look truly tired, so I nod and scoot closer to the high chair.

I try feeding him too, and nothing is working. I decide to try something, because he looks like he's about to cry, and that's not what I want. I get a new spoon from the kitchen, I don't want germs, and I dip it in to the "sweet potato." I sniff the spoon, bringing it up to my face. Andre eyes me curiously, his eyes lighting up. It's like he's constantly learning, and I guess he is. I plug my nose and shut my eyes and I put the spoon in my mouth.

I wonder how babies eat this stuff all the time, because it is disgusting. It takes all my willpower to swallow it, and when I open my eyes again he's on the verge of laughing. So I pick up his spoon, and, making little airplane noises, move it in a zigzag towards his mouth. He opens wide, for the first time, and eats it. I let out an audible sigh.

I hear clapping, and I turn around and see Tris standing in the bathroom door wearing a towel. "Like I said," she says, walking towards our room, "You're a natural. Give him a bath when you're done, okay?"

I finish feeding him, and bring him over to the sink. Even though he was wearing a bib thing, his clothes have orange stains on them and his whole face is covered. I pull off his clothes and his diaper – it's clean, thank god – and I plunge him in the lukewarm sink water. He squeals, and splashes around, soaking my shirt and my hair. I ignore it, and lather up his shampoo, which smells very strongly of flowers. I scrub him clean, so there is not a trace of orange.

By the time I'm done, it's almost eight. I can tell he's tired because his head droops slightly when I'm drying him off and his eyes are closed and he's almost passed out while I'm dressing him. I hold him with one hand, and slowly open our bedroom door, making sure it doesn't creak.

I set him down in the crib that we set up, give him a kiss on the forehead, and I walk out to clean up. I scrub up all the water, and head back in to the bedroom.

I throw off my shirt and since it's dark I can't find another one without making too much noise. I quietly get in to bed, and I put my arm around Tris, setting it on her swollen belly. I feel our baby kicking, and for the first time I'm actually looking forward to when she can be out here with us.


	19. Chapter 19

Tris

"Tobias, can you please take him? I can't handle all of this right now," I'm on the verge of storming out but I promised both myself and Tobias that I wouldn't do that to him, ever. I'm holding Andre in a slightly dangerous position – he's slung over my arm, screaming – and trying to talk to explain to my boss that when I have the baby that I don't want to come in to work for a while.

He put me on hold, and honestly, I wouldn't be upset if I got fired from this damn gym that I work in anyways. Lousy hours, lousy pay…I'd rather just work around the house. Tobias lets out a sigh, one that I would chastise him for if I was not on the phone, and takes a few long strides over to me and scoops the baby out of my arms. I rub my belly with my free hand, one of the many things Andre is teaching me: Carrying a baby on a pregnant stomach does not feel good.

I see Tobias sit down on the couch with him, playing, out of the corner of my eye. He was hesitant with the baby at first, but it gives me a warm feeling seeing how natural he is with children, at least with our nephew. I hear a click, and my boss, Steven, comes back on the phone.

"Okay, Tris, here's the deal." His voice is gruff and even over the phone, intimidating. "You gotta work, 'cause we don't have anybody else. I can't let you take off more than a month, that's final."

I'm silent for a few seconds, making it seem like I'm considering my options. I think I know what I have to do. Steve, being a former factionless – I know we're not supposed to categorize people anymore according to the new laws, but it's so hard not to – got this job because of a 'pity-clause,' as Tobias told me. The factionless never had a great life to start with when we had factions, so when they ended, Evelyn said she'd step down as leader under one term: they got first pick of jobs. And so, some idiot obliged to her, and the factionless held the ownership positions, at least for a little while. Most of them were replaced immediately, but apparently my boss managed to keep hold of the city gym.

"I quit."

He's quiet, and I'm about to hang up when he starts talking again. "You know, Tris, I'm glad you said that because I was going to have to fire you anyways! God, you can't find any good workers, can you?" Before he has a chance to continue, I hang up. I feel weight leave my body, knowing I'm done with my part-time torture. I never went much, because he always came up with some excuse to not open the gym, but when I did it was pure Hell.

I realize after I've been standing there for a while, still holding the phone to my ear, that I didn't even consider asking Tobias about this. I know we're more mended than not, but we still have our problems, and acting together is one of the big ones. It never even crossed my mind to ask him.

"What was that all about?" He asks me, still playing with Andre. A goofy smile lights up his face during peek-a-boo, leaving Andre laughing hysterically.

"Oh, um…Steve called." He gives me a confused look, since I don't like to talk about my job that much. I wasn't there really, at all, because as soon as I started to go more often I got kidnapped, and my boss was pretty hostile after I returned. "My boss."

"Oh…what did he want?" I think he knows what he wanted. He just wants to hear it from me.

"I quit." I guess he didn't know what I was going to say, because he promptly sets our nephew down on the couch and comes over to me, standing too far away. "You what?"

"You heard me, Tobias." I feel bad enough for what I did, but he doesn't really understand, and I'm not in the mood to fight with him today. I've been really tired lately, and now Andre's keeping us up all night, and although I haven't had another attack, my anxiety levels are really high.

"So…you just quit?" The last part 'without asking me' remains unspoken, though I know that was what he implied.

"I'm really sorry I didn't ask you, it just kinda slipped out, but I realised after I said it that I really hated that job. I need something else. I don't want to spend my days in a sweaty gym because that's the first job I saw after coming back."

His jaw tenses up at my flippant use of the words 'coming back.' He still hasn't talked to me about it unless necessary, like the whole two years of our lives apart was erased from his memory.

"Okay. If you think it was the right thing to do. Next time, at least discuss it with me, please?" I'm taken back by his reaction. I guess maybe we're getting somewhere, because normally he would have blown up and I would have ended up going out for a bit, because even though he hates it when I leave – he has good reasons, I admit – I need air sometimes.

"Promise," I say quietly. I close the space between us and press a soft kiss to his lips.

The doorbell rings as soon as my lips connect with his, and I let out a frustrated groan. I haven't seen him much with Andre being here, and I've come to realize that when our baby arrives, it will be even worse.

I walk over to answer it, and I see a smiling Caleb and Susan standing in front of me. They're holding hands, like some cheesy commercial couple.

"Hi! You're back early! You weren't coming until tomorrow, right?" I try to keep the disappointment from my voice. I really liked having our nephew around.

"Yeah, we really missed him," Caleb says. Somewhere inside I hear a loud cry, a happy one, and we all laugh.

"I think that would be him," I say, letting Tobias through. He hands him over to Susan, who accepts him with a wide smile on her face. He imitates her, smiling, and a tiny bit of drool drips down his chin.

"I'll get the rest of his stuff…one second," Tobias quickly disappears in to the apartment, but returns a second later with a hotel cart packed with all of his things. We packed today because we knew we'd be too slow to do it tomorrow, so I guess it's good we're prepared.

"You can take the elevator," he says, wheeling the cart to my brother, "and leave the cart in the lobby. Buzz up if there are any problems."

I wave goodbye to Andre as he looks over Susan's shoulder. Tobias sets his hands on my waist, and I turn around to face him.

"I'm really sad that he's gone. I liked having him."

"Me too. But we're gonna get our own in less than four months," he says, putting his hands on my belly.

Tobias

I feel the wind as I pull up to the house. Christina comes bursting out from inside, and I almost smile at the sight of her. She's got on glasses, for one. She's wearing a fancy blouse and a pencil skirt, and she's got a pen tucked behind her hair, which is in a bun.

"You're not a professional interior designer, you know." I say as I exit the car, locking the door behind me.

She laughs, strutting down the driveway on six-inch heels. "I know, clothes are more of my thing," she says, referring to the clothing store she owns and designs for, "But furniture is a nice change. Come on, you wanna see it?"

Nodding, I bound up the steps to the front door. She pulls open the door, and requests that I cover my eyes. "It's a surprise for Tris, not me."

"Whatever, I worked hard on this, you better thank me!" She takes my wrist and leads me in to what I assume is the living room, and demands that I open my eyes.

I knew she was good, but not this good.

The living room is a big room, with a tall ceiling and a fireplace. There's a balcony on the second floor, and windows all up the side. The leather couches are arranged in a semi square, with a big television above the fire place.

I'm too shocked for words, so she pulls me along to the next room.

The kitchen is amazing, with nice countertops, and she added some nice plants and things to go along. We tour the rest of the house quickly, and she's beaming by the time we're back in the living room, lounging on the couches.

"So, when are you gonna show her?" She inquires. So curious.

"As soon as possible."

She squeals. "You like it?"

I nod. "I love it, Christina. Thank you."

"Well, the girl deserves it. For one she lives with you," I roll my eyes, "And secondly, seriously though, she's been through a lot, Four. She needs something nice in her life. I'm more than happy to get you guys out of that dump you're living in, the bachelor pad gone wrong."

"I think this is the perfect place to start our lives. Together. Thank you, again."

"No problem!" she checks her watch, adjusting her glasses. "Oh, man, I've got to go! Big show next week, and half the outfits got rejected."

I smile, "Oh, the toils of the fashion world." She gives a sarcastic smile, waves, and bursts out the door to her fancy car.

I stand up, walking around, taking this all in. I hope, I know she'll like it. You can see the Ferris Wheel in the distance, and it's in a nice, safe neighborhood with lots of other young families. It's in walking distance of both the water and the inner city, a perfect mix.

It's so much better than anywhere I've lived, the Dauntless Headquarters, and it's miles above the old Abnegation homes I used to picture myself in, when I was a boy. Before I knew what would happen to me, to all of us. The whole city.

I don't linger for long, because I have to get going to Tris's appointment. I get there with minutes to spare, and find Tris waiting in the room for me.

"Hey," I say, out of breath.

"Hey."

The doctor comes in just as I sit down. We all greet each other, and he takes no time at all getting in to things.

Tris gets her ultrasound, and we get pictures of our little girl. I'm falling in love more and more every time I see her. We couldn't get a good view of her face, but that's okay. We have some from last time.

"Okay, Miss Prior. Everything looks good, you're very healthy. So, you're officially," he looks down at his clipboard, shuffling through various charts, "You're officially five and a half months, right?" She nods. "22 weeks. You're a bit…big, not in a bad way. You're carrying low, as is expected for your size. You and baby look like you're 24 weeks. Are you absolutely positive of the date the baby was conceived?"

We both nod, looking at each other equally confused. There was only one time it could have happened, definitely not two weeks before that.

"Okay, I believe you, I believe you." He shifts his glasses up his nose, scratching is balding head in the process. "So, we're just gonna wait and see, but I can tell you right now you're gonna be lucky to make it to the full forty weeks."

We both nod again. Tris and I knew this, because of her size and the conditions of the pregnancy, it was unlikely that she would carry it to full term. But she and baby will be fine as long as she gets to 37 weeks, as we were informed by the doctor.

After some more formalities, the doctor lets us go. We don't have any plans for the evening, and I don't want to show her the house tonight, so we settle for a night in. We eat good old pizza, and we watch a crime drama until about nine.

We go to bed early, the first night without Andre keeping us up in a week, and we fall asleep peacefully, catching up on lost time.

Boston

"What do you mean you couldn't get the sample?" The woman is enraged, throwing her hands about in a disorderly manner as she scolds the man.

"The doctor – an old man, but he's the only one in the city – doesn't do genetic testing on babies. Says it's an old practice they threw away for the good of the new city." The man speaks quietly, as if he's holding himself back from the woman, who's erratically going through papers on a once-neat desk.

She shouts in frustration, "I need those samples. I'm not going to go through shit to get their stupid kid and have it be damaged!"

"It's highly unlikely that the kid-"

"I know, I know! I did all the research, not you! Now go, leave me be! You have one job, and one job only. See to it that it gets done." She sits down in the old desk chair, and swivels away from the man, bringing her glasses down from her forehead and on to her nose.

"Yessir." The man runs out the room, and she doesn't even scold him for his use of sir. If being referred to as a male figure of power gets her a sample for the fetus, she's going to allow it.


	20. Chapter 20

Tobias

I used to think the best feeling in the world was when you hit the dead center of the target 10, 15, 20 times in a row. I used to live for the sensations of holding the knife, balancing it perfectly, and letting it fly through the air. I'd count down the seconds until I could merely set foot in the training room again.

I changed my mind.

The best feeling in the world is feeling your unborn child kick against the curve of her stomach, listening to her twirl and flip and talking to her at night, reading her stories and telling her everything she'll need to know.

It doesn't matter that she's not listening, or better put – understanding, but you sing to her anyways.

The doctor assured me, when I inquired, that she can indeed hear me – on some level – but he encouraged me to keep talking to her, as it can be comforting to the fetus to hear both of her parents' voices.

I feel her kick Tris's stomach repeatedly, right where my hand rests. I move my hand over to the other side, and I feel another light push against my palm.

Tris smiles at me; she thought I was ridiculous at first, but when my touch calms the baby down at night she stopped objecting. She didn't like me looking at her bare stomach either, for fear of me seeing the zebra-like stretch marks and not wanting her anymore, but I managed to convince her and now she lets me do as I please.

I feel her hand on my head, and I lift up to meet hers and we share a brief kiss before we get ready in the morning. We used to shower together, but she prefers baths now, and I don't blame her. Already, I'm seeing so many changes, and the baby isn't born yet. Although I've managed to ignore my fear of becoming my father for the most part, I still worry about how our lives will be after we become parents.

"Tobias," Tris says. Her voice breaks me out of my dream land, and I turn my head to find her poking out of the bathroom door.

"Didn't you say you had a meeting this morning?" I suddenly tense up, remembering that I do indeed have a meeting this morning. Checking my watch, I see that I only have 10 minutes to get to the other side of the city.

"I did, thank you for reminding me." She nods curtly and disappears in to the bathroom, the sound of running water becoming louder then quieter as she shuts the door. I quickly get dressed, and use the tiny mirror in the bedroom – after all these years, it still feels wrong – to fix my hair as much as I can. I grab a bagel and run out the door, saying a goodbye to Tris.

The blast of springtime air hits me full-on as I run out the door. My shoes squeak on the wet pavement, and I inhale deeply before I turn on my car. The grass is now mostly green, the trees' buds have started to sprout, and the temperature has risen to a comfortable middle.

I'm not the best driver, I know, so I try to be as safe as one can while racing down the street. I can't be late for this, not an option. They're discussing my idea to fix the education program, and this could be my big shot to get higher up. I'm satisfied with my current position as a Communications rep, but I'd love to be the Communications director. Education isn't something I usually deal with – I'm more of the foreign affairs guy, laying out policies for our interaction with other cities and such – but we don't have many people living in Chicago right now, so they told everyone working under Johanna, the mayor, to try and think of something.

They want to look further in to my idea of expanding the program. Right now, we've only got one school, and only a few hundred kids. The kids over sixteen flat out refused to go back in to education like we wanted them to, and the fifteen year olds also boycotted the idea of further education. It's been two years since the initial start, so now we've got kids from ages five to sixteen going to school in what used to be the Lower level.

The other schools were destroyed in one of the many conflicts the fourth city endured, and we didn't think it necessary to rebuild, with much more important things going on.

I pull up in front of the tower just in time, I park where I'm not supposed to but I don't care if I get a ticket because if I get this promotion, I'd have the money to pay for a thousand tickets.

I practically lunge in to the elevator, and it whisks me up to the thirtieth floor. I realize once I'm in that I've made a terrible mistake. I feel like the walls are caving in on me, and I usually take the stairs, but I can't do that today.

I crouch in the corner, putting my arms around my head. I also don't like the feeling of going up either, and with every second I am getting further away from the ground.

After what seems like a century the elevator doors open with a ding, and I rush in to the conference room, with thankfully has now windows.

The men of the board sit in complete silence around the table, and the only thing you can hear is my ragged breathing. I try to slow it down, but I end up gulping for air. This isn't good.

Harrison, who's sitting at one end of the table, beckons for me to sit. I find my seat near the other end of the table. I slide in to the chair next to former Abnegation Councilman Clark, and Tori. She gives me a reassuring smile, and I try harder to put my walls up to hide my nervousness.

The meeting starts off slowly, talking about the status of the city – good – and the budget – better. Harrison gestures for me to stand, and my power point appears on the wall. I hear clicking footsteps behind me, and I turn to find Johanna standing in the doorway. She smiles and gestures for me to start.

I nervously introduce myself to those who do not know me, though they are few, I tend to get a lot of attention – both good and bad.

"I think we need to fix the schools. I have three main points to address: Space, Information, and Quality." I click to the next slide, showing a graph of the students we have currently in the school. It didn't take much digging to find the school's records, as things are no longer kept secret from the public. Well, most things.

"All of us here grew up in Chicago, and we went to the schools. We had more people then, yes, but I think we can all agree that there was plenty space. The classes were an appropriate size, so everyone could get the correct amount of attention.

"Now, you'll see that our schools have lost that balance. We have children in 11 grades – K through 10 – in one building. The teachers teach 30 students a class, and they teach more than one grade at a time." It seems to be going well. They're all listening, somewhat, and Johanna looks pensive. "We didn't rebuild the buildings because we had other things to do, and that was correct. But now, we should put our efforts and our good budget to work on building another school. The division: Kindergarten through fifth in the old building, and the rest in the newer one."

I click to the next slide. "Information. When we were in school, we didn't learn anything true. We have severely limited information about the real history of our people, but we need to start teaching the whole truth. No more lies."

Next slide. "Quality. We need to start educating the students properly. We need to have an advanced program, for gifted students. We need a slower one, for those who need it."

Everyone's still paying attention, a good sign. I finish my closing remarks and they all clap, business-like, quiet little clapping. I don't know what it means.

Tris

I add the finishing touches to the salad just as I hear the door open. "In the kitchen!" I shout. He likes to know where I am when he gets home. I made the mistake of falling asleep once, without leaving a note, and he almost called the police.

He's a bit obsessive, as Amar warned me years ago, and I'm slightly worried about how the meeting went. He comes in, wrapping his arms around me and rubbing my stomach. He has a habit of doing that now. He kisses my head, and I ask him how it went.

Sighing, he runs a hand through his hair. He follows me out in to the dining room as I set down the plates, and he sits across from me. "I think they liked it. I'm not sure," he says, slowly eating his lettuce.

"That's good, that means they're thinking about it," I say, trying to comfort him. I know his plan is good, but I'm not sure the council will take to it. His job is very stressful, and I try to comfort him as much as I can, while being truthful.

We eat the rest of dinner in silence, and that's okay. I know he doesn't want to talk. It's when we're washing dishes that he says, "You're too good."

"What?" I hand him another plate to dry.

"You're too good. You're pregnant, and you still do all this work." I don't want to tell him that I wish I was doing more, I feel bored at home but he doesn't want me getting a job until after the baby's born.

"I don't make dinner every day, you know. I knew you had a stressful day, so I thought you might want something to eat." Much like the ways of our old faction, we each take turns making dinner and breakfast. I don't know how he thinks I'm too good, because I think it's the other way around. I'm the one who left him, multiple occasions. He's taken care of me too much.

I don't say that, though, because he's not in a good place right now and it wouldn't be wise to start a fight over nothing. He sighs again, and we finish the dishes without speaking about it again.

I don't stay up past nine anymore, and he always comes and lies with me, but he never goes to sleep right away. I woke up to him typing away at midnight, once, and I couldn't convince him to stop. I know something must be bothering him deep down when he does that, because he turns to working when he's stressed. Or scared.

"What's bothering you, really?" I ask him when we're laying together in bed.

He studies me for a minute, probably thinking over his answer. He must decide to just tell me the truth, because he lets me see the worry in his eyes, while he normally keeps it locked behind bars. "Change."

I understand. I'm afraid too, because I've noticed how things have changed between us recently. "I'm afraid too." I know he must be really worn down because he doesn't even contradict me, saying that he's not afraid, just worried. But I know him, anyways. I may not be Candor, but I know when he's lying to me.

"I don't think I'm ready to be a parent," he blurts out. He looks away from me, eyes trained up at the ceiling.

I pull his chin back down, "I don't think I'm ready either. We're both unprepared. But we can't do anything about it but get ready, Tobias, because we're going to be parents, soon."

He looks down at my swollen midsection, and I fight the urge to cover it up. I don't like him looking at me like that, probably thinking about how even more undesirable I am with this huge stomach.

His eyes flick back up to mine. "How are we supposed to get ready?"

I swallow thickly. "Well, we can read books, talk to the doctor, and we could take a class."

He looks at me skeptically. "A class?"

"Yeah, a parenting class. They have them at the hospital, and I think you'd benefit from it as well. They have classes just for dads, 'New Dad Boot Camp,' and they have prenatal yoga classes. I'm going to do those."

He laughs, "Boot Camp? I'm not sure I'm ready for that."

I laugh too, "I think you will be. But if you're not up for that there's one both parents can do together, and I figured that's what you'd want to do."

He becomes serious again. "Yeah, that sounds…good."

"I know it sounds stupid, but when you know how to properly put a baby to sleep you'll be thanking me every night." He kisses me lightly, and I roll over to get a – hopefully – good night's sleep.

Tobias

I'm sitting next to Tris in a big circle of pregnant women and their men. We're in a colorful room, walls painted red, blue, and yellow, with a label on the door: Parents Classroom.

It's in the left wing of the hospital, where they provide health classes as well as college courses for nurses and such, and surprisingly it doesn't smell like the hospital at all.

"We're going to go around and introduce ourselves, I'll start," says our teacher, Cathy. She looks to be about thirty, and I can tell she used to be Erudite by her glasses, for one, and the way she presents herself, sitting upright in the chair, legs crossed, observing everything in great detail. "My name's Cathy, I have two kids at home, Rosa, who's two, and Tristan, who's turning five. I'll be your instructor for the next few weeks and I'll guide you to become better parents for your babies."

It goes around the circle for a while until it gets to Tris and I. She speaks first, and I rub my hand on her back absently. "I'm Tris, and I'm 24 weeks with my first."

Everyone nods, but Cathy looks at her quizzically. "Wow, you're big! Are you sure it's just one?"

Tris laughs, and I tense up. I don't like people criticizing my fiance, even if it's just a joke. "Yeah, I'm sure."

She pokes me in the ribs, and I stutter out my introduction. "I'm…Tobias." It still feels weird saying my real name to people. They all nod, saying hello.

There are only a few more introductions, and then the class begins. Cathy starts talking about birth, and I'm only half listening.

"Now Dads, pay extra attention here." I snap to attention, "When she's giving birth, I'm going to tell you up front – it's not going to be pretty for you. She's going to be in a ton of pain, pain you'll never experience in your lives, and you're going to be scared, nervous, excited, basically a bundle of nerves.

"I'm going to teach you Dads on how to comfort her, and support her, both during the birth and through the years that will come after. I'm going to teach you Moms on how to do basic care for the baby, but today we're going to learn about birth."

I internally groan. This is not something I want to be listening to.


End file.
